Collide Gamer

A rusted fence surrounded a snapshot of city history. Grass grew in patches from soil ruined by the presence of industrial waste, from discarded tires to rusted barrels. Broken slabs of concrete were scattered about, foundations for things that had… never been there.

After all, the rusted fence and the concrete and the barrels and the tires were all false. This was a copy of a copy, recreated from memory.

It was a detailed memory, but not a perfect one. John’s own, sharp recollection of the building had it all a little less derelict. Its owner had been an orderly person, by and large, even if he had enjoyed a certain aesthetic.

Perhaps what John was seeing wasn’t the property as it had been at the end but how it had been when their host had first laid foot on it. Perhaps his memory was just a bit jumbled.

They quietly walked down the trodden path that ran through the middle of the patchy lawn. Every step carried them closer to the old arcade. The outer walls were mostly wood, covered in facsimiles of ancient graffities. The colours and shapes were about what John remembered. What exactly they said had long been swallowed up by time.

They pushed open the front door and stepped into the bottom floor of the two story building.

John remembered the original well. A bare concrete floor, a room that basically filled out the entire layer of the structure, a bunch of arcade machines, a couple of PCs and the thoroughly scratched meeting table. Nothing in that structure had really matched, all of it collected over the years by a man that so desperately tried to be more than a small fish in a very big pond.

This reconstruction was a hollow shell. The tables had been recreated, but that was it. The arcade machines were missing, the variety of chairs was missing, the computers were missing, and the spiralling staircase up to the second floor was missing.

A lot was missing.

“Can never get it back, can we?”

Jimmie knelt by a space heater that he had put up in the place. He was holding his hands to the electrically heated metal coils. Winter was present in every corner of the copy of their past.

Looking at Jimmie was surreal. The learning Fateweaver/arcano-tech enthusiast looked practically the exact same as he had two years ago. He had graduated from his early twenties to his mid-twenties, a change that brought with it some small wrinkles. Otherwise, he was the same brown-eyed, black-haired, almost unassuming guy he had always been. Practical and well-worn clothes covered him. The exact same washed out red cap sat on his head. He took it off so he had an easier time looking up at them.

“’Least that’s what I see in your expression. Dunno, maybe I’m projecting.” Jimmie tapped the floppy bit of his cap against his knee.

“No, that is what I was thinking,” John confessed and looked around. “It wasn’t a long time I spent in here, but it was fun… it was when everything felt… careless. I miss these halcyon days sometimes, when I wasn’t on any path yet, when I knew so little and anything could have happened.”

“That’s a way to look at the shit we got up to.” Jimmie laughed drily and stood up. “Looking gorgeous, Ra-“

He didn’t get through the entire sentence. Aclysia closed the distance with four long strides and hugged the man suddenly and tightly. “I always… always regretted that I couldn’t say goodbye to you.”

There was a deep sorrow to her voice, an intensity that John had not expected to be hit by. He was every bit as surprised as Jimmie when the artificial guardian started to sob. It was a sound of an emotion that had been buried deep for a long time, finally finding a release.

“I didn’t know… how much I would miss you… until your absence taught me regret.”

“I… guess I’m flattered by that?” Jimmie cautiously put a hand on Aclysia’s back and gave her a couple of pats. After a bit, she stepped back and sniffed.

“My sincerest apologies,” she muttered. “I… did not know I needed to get that off my chest that badly… stupid past me…” She swallowed. “It was just a box of scrap for you, I know… but… it was important to me. The sudden end to our memories together, it… hurt me.”

“I suppose I’m glad I made my mark on someone of importance.” Jimmie scratched the back of his head, then put his cap back on.

“Ya were paying me a compliment?” Rave asked, keeping the conversation going.

“Just the same compliment I always paid you… thought it’d loosen the mood or some shit.” Jimmie reached into his jacket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. Even that habit remained. He lit it up, taking a long drag, then exhaling the smoke. “Wanna throw the usual insult back at me?”

“Nah, I’m good… don’t think you deserve that.” Rave moved closer to the heater. “Ya did a bit much flirting for my taste… but ya ain’t a bad guy. Plus, I was single and me.”

“Humble as always,” Jimmie stated drily.

“Yep.”

An awkward silence fell over the group. Jimmie turned away from Rave and faced John and Aclysia. The Gamer reached into his inventory and pulled out a stack of cards. “Want to play?” he asked.

The corners of Jimmie’s lips twitched upwards. “’Preciate the gesture, dude, but my fingers would freeze off.”

“…Right.” John put the deck away again. The social plan lay shattered. His ideas for the flow of this conversation had all been proven wrong. They were in the area of pure improvisation now. “…You haven’t changed much,” he said, carefully.

“You’ve changed a lot… all three of you.” Jimmie looked around them. “Not surprising though. I’m an Iron Man suit shorter than I’d like to be, but otherwise I was pretty content where I was at… You two were going places.” He took another drag of the cigarette. “Places I wouldn’t have been able to tag along with anyhow.”

“So you have been… fine?” John asked.

“It’s been two years, Johnnie, you don’t have to talk like I’m about to break.” Jimmie laughed and there was a little genuine mirth to it. “After Travolta died, I took what money there still was and used it to start a new mundane life. I run a shop to repair everything… but you know that, since you found me and all.” He dropped the smoked up cigarette to the ground and stomped out the embers. “It’s my life and it’s enough. Made contact with some other ex-Abyssals over time. Should have seen my face when they mentioned your name the first time.” He shook his head. “I don’t even know half of it. I didn’t ever check anything myself so… guess you’re an emperor now or something? Also Rave turned into a cat girl? Aclysia is a dragon maid? Good for all of you.”

“It was… turbulent,” John said.

“Can believe that,” Jimmie responded, plainly.

The entire conversation was so normal that John did not quite know how to handle it. Simultaneously, he did not know what else he could have expected. A brotherly hug? They had never been that close. A spiteful declaration?

Yes, that was what he had expected.

“Do you… hate me, Jimmie?” John asked slowly.

Of all the reactions the founding member of Collide could have had, snorting was not on John’s bingo card. “Seriously? That’s why you tracked me down?” he asked, amusedly. “What, did some mind mage plant regretful visions in your head or something?”

“…No, no something, that’s exactly it,” John admitted. “Hit the nail right on the head.”

“And you had to verify that with me after that?” The Gamer nodded. “Dude, that’s honestly a bit pathetic.”

“Yeah… yeah, I agree.” John rubbed the back of his neck.

“It was the tipping point,” Aclysia defended him. “Master often wondered if you were doing fine.”

“Well, I am,” Jimmie responded with another laugh. He lit a second cigarette while shaking his head. “That’s… a funny feeling. To know someone like you cares about the opinion of someone like me.”

“It’s not someone like you… just you, because you were there.”

“Honestly, that’s all I was… I was there. Travolta and I were doing our thing, Rave and you were doing yours… though Travolta did his own thing, in the end.” Jimmie took a short break to blow rings of smoke into the air. “I don’t hate you, John, not even a lil’ bit. I like you, even. Liked you… I have no idea who you are these days. You seem alright.”

That was so strange to hear, so relieving despite being so simple. “That’s… what I needed to hear, I think?”

“Guess that made my six hour drive worth it,” Jimmie remarked sarcastically.

“Hey, you insisted on meeting up here,” the Gamer pointed out.

“Yeah… I did…” the unlearned Fateweaver took a long look around. “I’m also a bit pathetic. I dunno… there’s some part of me that wonders whether we can… be that again. Some stupid part of me is wondering if you’re about to pull out some wand that brings him back.” He shot John a somewhat hopeful glance.

“That’s not among my powers,” he responded.

“Figured…” Another drag and the second cigarette was halfway down. “I’m over it… as much as one can be over the loss of a good friend, anyway… but I’d have liked to see him again.” He pulled his shoulders back, dropped the half-finished cigarette and stomped it out. “Well, if that’s all you wanted, I guess we can go our ways? It’s pretty late.”

“…You’re fine with ending it just like this?” John asked. “You don’t want to talk about the last two years?”

“Look, I can tell you about my last two years in three sentences. I repaired cars. I tried to date. I’m still single,” Jimmie listed in dry humour. “Actually, just for you, I’ll add that I’m now hardstuck gold – managed to climb out of silver. Stopped picking Trynda every game, go figure.” He made an offhanded gesture. “And you’d need two nights to tell me everything that happened to you and I wouldn’t get any of it. I’ve been a mundane with an ear to the Abyss the last two years. I’m barely literate in magic these days. Making this place took me three hours and it sucks.”

“You’re underestimating your talent there, Jimmie,” Rave threw in. “We’ve seen way worse.”

That made him hesitate for a moment. All the same, he shook his head. “All the same, this ain’t my world anymore. I just want to wake up in the morning, spend my day tightening bolts, and go to bed after a beer and cigarette.”

“There’s a lot I could give you,” John said.

“…Why though?” Jimmie wanted to know. “What do I have? I’m not above taking stuff if you offer it to me, but I don’t think you’d actually give it to me. You’re just offering it to a guy who you remember fondly.”

“I’ve put a lot of work into making the Abyss safer. You wouldn’t have to fear slavers or such anymore.” John pulled his shoulders back. “If you want the honest answer… there’s a lot of small reasons. I don’t think you’re some hidden talent. You’ve got more than most but not enough to be a prodigy. If you returned to the Abyss, found safety in the realm I built… then that would validate what I’ve been doing. I also want you to come back because of those memories. You treated me alright when I was a stammering idiot going after a girl you liked.”

“Eh, flirting with Rave was half-hearted at best,” Jimmie said. “I just got eyes. Would never have worked.”

Rave chuckled in the background, still all but cuddling the heater.

“The point is that I got no real, good reason… I just feel like I owe it to you to make the offer.”

“You don’t owe me shit,” Jimmie stated. “I wasn’t there when Travolta went in to save you from that Wall Shadow. You weren’t the reason everything went tits up. You visited me in the hospital. You didn’t come looking for me until you were strong enough that you wouldn’t accidentally drag me back in. I appreciate all of that, dude… it’s just that I know enough to know that I’m like… a gym bro next to Thor.”

John laughed at the comparison. It was an odd one, but it wasn’t inaccurate. “So… you won’t take it?”

“As I said, I’m not above taking stuff if you’re offering… maybe… you can give me your number and I’ll think about it.”

Aclysia had reached into her inventory and retrieved a card for him before he had finished the sentence. “That is my personal number,” she explained. “Its easier to get through this way.”

“Looks important,” Jimmie drawled and put it in his wallet. It could be used tomorrow or it could become part of the little forest of cards he had been collecting and never pulled out.

“You sure you don’t want to come to the wedding?” John asked. He had mentioned it in the original message, so this bit was not news to him.

“Nah… I’m just repeating myself at this point: that isn’t my world. That’s yours. Even if I had stayed in the Abyss, I’d be your janitor at most by now.”

There really wasn’t much more to say at that point. “Just, one more question, if you’d indulge me.”

“Just ask the question, dude,” Jimmie said, eyes rolling.

“Can I change the title of Guildmaster?”

Snorting, Jimmie walked past him. “It’s your guild, man,” he said as he opened the door. He stopped in the fame. All of the mocking tone and dry humour dropped. “This wasn’t what I expected… but it was… nice.”

“Same,” John echoed.

“Will we never see you again?” Aclysia asked, taking half a step towards the door.

“I’ll at least give you a courtesy call.” Jimmie waved over his shoulder. “Best of luck with your wedding.”

Just like that, he walked away.