Collide Gamer

After the Among You and the Pen and Paper game, John felt he had achieved enough in a day to sit down and unwind. Left to do were the three Waves and the Raid. The former activity he considered doable over the course of one to three stressful hours. The Raid, he would only judge once he actually saw the next boss.

John did not have one to three stressful hours in him or, rather, he did not want to exert himself like that. A grinding session was mostly for the sake of advancing his powers, yes, but it also existed for him to put up his feet for a bit and enjoy what he had.

The Gamer had a moment to himself – at least in his real body. The Creator Puppet was training with Moira, a simple spar of physical means. The Ambassador Double was going through the menial tasks of writing more signatures under invitations. Having multiple bodies was really useful for these things. Although it was still John who was doing all of those signatures, he could zone out well enough and dedicate himself to more enjoyable activities.

John was currently on an old comfort game: Minecraft. He enjoyed wandering about in the multiplayer world of the harem and looking at the multiple grandiose structures they had built, individually or together. He also enjoyed taking his Elytra and flying far enough out that he could do his own thing.

“Heyyyyyy, hubby.”

Lulu made herself known by hugging him from behind. In a manner befitting of a tomboy, she went for a bite to his ear rather than a kiss on his cheek. John had to fight her with one shoulder, while kiting a creeper around. Not that he was in any real danger. Enchanted Netherite armour meant he was basically invincible.

“You know Rave will kill you if she hears that,” John said.

“Yeah, but when I say it, I get the tingly feeling, so it’s worth the risk.” She scratched his chin. “We have a proposal for you, future spouse, to which we believe you ought to listen with rapt attention.”

John flew to a treetop, then logged out. He swivelled on his chair, to find that Lulu had not come alone. With her were Fianna, Daiyu and Lorelei. Like every time the black-haired shortstack was dragged out of her room, she was busy keeping her eyes on the floor.

‘Well, with breasts like that, her eyes are probably more on her cleavage,’ John thought. Daiyu was the only person in the room to bother with the yoke of clothes. Said clothes were picked by Lu Zhi, consisting of a custom-tailored, short-skirted Chinese dress and matching, black, green-trimmed stockings with dragon embroidery. “An interesting gathering you have here.”

“By our right as sovereign over Heaven and Earth, we have gathered those that will be of relevance to this talk – and Daiyu is here to hand me things.” Lu Zhi plopped down in John’s lap. Instinctively, he raised his arm to support her back. Her legs dangled over the other armrest. “This is our second favourite throne.”

“Only second?” John asked, feigning offense.

“The seat of our ancestors remains more comfortable and it is imbued with the authority of generations. Being seated on you will give me the honour of continuing my generations, in due time. Perhaps then, I shall re-evaluate.” She booped him on the nose, then authoritatively extended her hand to the side. After a few seconds, she impatiently wiggled her fingers. “Lady-in-waiting, your empress awaits you playing your part in this.”

“Y-yes, s-s-sorry, Lulu!”

“We are in a court session, servant. Do not be familiar.”

“M-my apologies, H-heavenly Jade Empress.”

“Don’t be so mean to her,” John requested. “You’re already bullying her by having dragged her along.” Nᴇw ɴovel chaptᴇrs are published on novᴇlfire.net

“My Daiyu enjoys a little bullying, I am certain.” Lu Zhi gently took the scroll that the shy shortstack handed her. “I do it for her as well. She’d lose herself in reading stories of the past, if I did not drag her out to witness the history being written.”

John wasn’t entirely sure about that at the moment. “Daiyu, you can be honest here – I’ll spank Lulu if she’s being too mean to you.”

“I-It’s fine!” Daiyu waved wildly, her long, bluntly cut bangs swaying. For a moment, her eyes crossed John’s gaze. Her irises were nearly entirely the colour of black ink, with barely a difference between the pupils and their surroundings. She immediately snapped back, eyes to the floor. “I, uhm… uh, I… yeah.”

“Yeah…?” John slowly asked.

“Y-yeah.”

“…” John looked over to Lorelei, who gave him a reassuring smile. He sighed. Lu Zhi pinched him.

“Don’t doubt my love for Daiyu, she’s my favourite servant! I know when to stop bullying her.”

“I apologize for questioning your dedication and friendship.”

“That’s right, ya better!” The Heavenly Jade Empress released his cheek, then undid the cord on the scroll. The entirety of the document was an example of unnecessary splendour.

The scroll itself, she must have had with her. It was a highly ornate piece with silver dragon-heads on both sides of the wooden core of the imperial document. It had been tied with silk-cords just minutes ago – John knew that for certain since they had only been out of the game for half an hour. The paper, carefully attached to the cloth with metal and pressure, was as expensive as every other part. He recognized Lu Zhi’s calligraphy in the Chinese characters. He had learned enough about the antiquated script that was used at court to read it. He prevented himself from doing so, concentrating fully on Lu Zhi’s delivery of the lines.

“We, in our authority as Heavenly Jade Empress, ruler of all that is of Heaven and Earth and in-between, sovereign of the Middle Empire, general of the banners of all clans of China, Mongolia, Vietnam and beyond, hereby suggest to our spouse the beginning of five imperial bloodlines. This unprecedented privilege shall be granted to him, of foreign blood, under the demand that he add to his imperial harem all those chosen by the Cardinal Beasts, unifying the paths of Heaven and Earth in unity through family, love, and future synchronized.”

“Wha-wha-wha-whaaaaaaaaaaaaat?!” Daiyu cried out, while Lu Zhi wrapped the scroll back up. “Lulu! Lulu, you… uhm, uh, L-Lu Zhi, m-m-m-my emp-p-press, when did y-you d-decide… THAT!”

“About an hour ago, Fianna inspired me,” the Heavenly Jade Empress responded. She tied the cord back up, then gave the scroll to John. “Keep this in your inventory. It is an official promise. You have my full support to woo all of the Cardinal Chosen.”

“Wawawawa… whyyyyyy do you think that’s even p-possible?!” Daiyu stammered, her face so incredibly beet red. “D-do you think y-you could--- you could… l-lay with… Vinh?”

“She does raise a good point.” John weighed the scroll in his hand. “There are three obstacles in the way of this plan. First is if Vinh could be convinced to join the harem.”

“Let’s be real, if you claimed her like a caveman by clubbing her over the head, the little chicken would eagerly fall in line.”

“…I get the spirit behind that idea, but that’s to the second point: I don’t really like Vinh that much.” Thinking back to the Vermillion Phoenix’s chosen invoked a mixture of feelings. She was incredibly hot, pun intended, yes, and there was something to be said in favour of having another woman by his side who prioritized living life her way. “To be more exact, I think she’s a naïve idiot who needs a reality check.”

“So, club her over the head like a caveman,” Lulu pointed out.

“Attached to that point is whether you and all the other haremettes want her around.”

“I believe there is a golden path of ambition before us, hubby, that only we can walk. Never before in history has a Heavenly Jade Empress found herself attached to a man of such prowess. Consider the prosperity that could come to our realms were you to unify below you a quartet of such cultural significance. No one in history before could claim to have ever brought such unity to the politics of China and it will all be thanks to me… and you.” She cheekily tapped his nose again.

“And all of this spawned from your suggestion?” John asked Fianna.

“It was an ideation, not a strong suggestion,” the White Tiger’s chosen responded. “It is a pragmatically sound decision, Sir.”

John let out a long sigh. “That I cannot deny. As you say, it would legitimize me beyond any doubt to your subjects and since the houses you want me to form would be subordinate to your own in importance, it would also allow you to radically reform basically anything you want. We would be removing the only four gathering spots your enemies have – provided there is no absurd Latebloomer among the new Abyssals of China.”

“B-b-b-b-but… you don’t even know if all of them are women!” Daiyu stammered.

“That would be my third point, actually,” John agreed. “I assume that is why Lorelei is here?”

“I have been unable to divine the identity of the remaining chosen. Both are clad in layers upon layers of protection that I cannot penetrate. The Black Turtle’s shell makes my attempts to learn about her a slippery endeavour, while the Azure Dragon coils away from my gaze.” The seer closed her eyes, in pursuit of something else. “Yet, I can divine this: all of the Cardinal Chosen of this generation are women. The Lady grants me clarity.”

“I wouldn’t have bothered to write that entire decree if I hadn’t confirmed that first,” Lu Zhi added.

John hummed, thoughtfully. He tossed the scroll up a short way, caught it, then decided to put it in his inventory. “I don’t support the idea of adding to my harem because it is the pragmatic course of action,” he stated. “That being said… yes, it does stroke my ego to be the first in history to do something, yes, it is pragmatically correct and, given that I am about to be one Cardinal Chosen deep, there is the completionist in me that wants to complete the set. However!” He let the word linger. “I will not do this in any way outside the normal.”

“I wouldn’t want it any other way,” Lu Zhi assured. “We either add them to our harem the proper way or not at all.”

“Wawawawa… Luluuuuuu… t-this is a bit much, even for you.”

“You’re being quite flustered about all of this,” the Heavenly Jade Empress remarked. “Does it remind you of one of your novels?”

“…N-n-no comment!”

“You know, Momo told her that you asked her for recommendations on more male-oriented harem stories recently,” John pointed out.

“I… I plead the 5th!”

“…That doesn’t work on multiple levels,” Fianna pointed out.

“It doesn’t?” Daiyu sounded genuinely confused. “Isn’t that… an American… s-saying that just means… like… ‘we don’t talk about that’?”

“It might as well mean that,” John said. “Now, I’m not going to tease you anymore, you have enough worries with your bullying mistress.”

“And I know restraint. Daiyu, you are dismissed. Return to your books and your bathtub.”

“Y-yes!” Daiyu pumped her fists in a very Gnome-ish fashion, then darted out of the room.

John did get a good look at her ass while she walked out. Enthusiastic steps caused her skirt to ride up enough that he could see the lower edge of her cheeks shift. For a shortstack, her ass was rather modest – which John found enticing in its own way. Compared to Delicia’s roundness, the proportionality of the toned shorty’s curves was just nice and normal.

It disappeared down the corridor, leaving John with two naked haremettes and one haremette-to-be.

“I feel like I am… forgetting something,” John muttered aloud.

“Is it your manners?” Lulu suggested. “Because you just flirted with my lady-in-waiting.”

“Does that offend you?” John asked, amused. “After you tried to pawn Vinh on me?”

“If only I could actually pawn her off,” the Heavenly Jade Empress groaned, then shook her head. “Nope, if Daiyu would want into this, I’d embrace her in a heartbeat.”

“Is this where you tell me of your forbidden lesbian entanglements?”

“No. I thought about it, as young adults are wont to do, but I never even suggested it to her.” Lu Zhi shrugged. “Admittedly, I took Daiyu along in part because I wanted to expose her to the idea of becoming part of this.” The Heavenly Jade Empress turned towards the open door, when they all picked up a thud from the upper floor. With their superhuman hearing, it was easy to notice someone falling elsewhere in the building. “She’s my longest friend. I want her to be happy. You make me happy, so I’d like her adorableness to make an impact on you.”

“It’s not failing… but I don’t think I will add your servant to my harem.”

“It will happen naturally – or not at all,” Lu Zhi reiterated. “I am aligning the pieces in the ways that would please me, but I am making no demands on the outcome.” The imperial tomboy gave the door a sad gaze. “It would be too selfish of me to keep Daiyu by my side forever… if she is not with you, then she will marry another or she will assume other duties. A lady-in-waiting cannot be kept waiting forever. Compared to ours, the flame of her life is an ember that will fade all too quick.”

John quietly placed a kiss on Lulu’s head. The consideration of their own agelessness was often an isolating one. To remain in the prime of their lives for the coming millennia was an advantage that John would cling onto. He was attached to the idea of continuing this existence of youthful vigour and ambition. Yet, they were all too aware that their club of effective immortals was not a big one.

As the centuries rolled by, the only constant would be each other. Even that could not be guaranteed. John would try his hardest to assure that this harem would never break apart, but he had only lived for 20 years. How could he possibly fathom what he would have after 1000 of them?

A blessing and a curse was, often, a matter of perspective.