Collide Gamer

‘Master.’

The voice in his head and the gentle nudge to his shoulder woke John up in an unusual manner. Aware of what today was, he blinked awake quickly. Through the eyes of the maids around him, he manoeuvred himself out of the massive bed. Once he had his contact lenses in, the work began.

The maids all went into the kitchen, where they swiftly pulled out a host of meals. Those that were best enjoyed cold had been stored overnight. That which was best enjoyed fresh was prepared in the adequate amount of time.

While they prepared their part of everything, John readied himself for his part in it all.

There had been some internal debate about how to begin the day. Waking the birthday girl up by roping her up had been a consideration. An alternative had been to pin her down and fuck her silly. While there was no doubt that Eliana would have enjoyed either of those approaches, today was a special day. They had opted to keep it wholesome.

“Wake up, my pretty little psycho,” John whispered.

Eliana’s brows quivered. She groaned. “I don’t fucking want to wake up… you’re going to… kiss me or some gay ass shit like that.”

“Because you deserve it.” John ran his hand through her hair. His touch lingered at the back of her head. He bowed down and pressed a tender kiss on her cheek. He immediately made it two. “Happy birthday, Eliana. You’re now a 95-year-old crone.”

The joke made her chuckle. “If I don’t get turned into a 96-year-old MILF next year, I’m ripping your cum factories off and stuffing them in my ovaries.”

“Like some kind of horrific, humanoid anglerfish?”

“Yes.” Eliana rolled over, burying her face in his chest. “I… urgh, I feel like I am talking breeding all the fucking time.”

“It’s on your mind.”

“I’m fucking crazy about it.” She let the words hang between them, before drastically changing the topic. “What do you think about the colour yellow?”

“Mhm, probably one of my least favourite ones. I like gold quite a bit.”

“Gold is fucking green though.”

“Colours don’t have sex.”

“I- huh?” Eliana tilted her head back, stared up at him, saw his giant grin, then burst out laughing. “That’s fucking stupid!” she shouted. Attempts at further words were buried under unhinged laughter.

Such volume first thing in the morning was usually frowned upon, but on her day Eliana could be forgiven for it. Everyone had already been stirred awake anyhow, this was just their signal to join on in with the cuddle pile.

Rave was there first, wrapping her arms around Eliana’s back. Swiftly, Nathalia joined them. The three of them squeezed and kissed the giggling crazy all over. Rave even tickled her before she backed away, giving other haremettes the room to get in their share of direct touches.

Gnome, then Salamander, Undine, Sylph and Siena layered on top of the pretty little psycho. “Get those udders out of my face, hot tits!” Eliana complained, half of her head covered by Salamander’s breasts.

“Just showing you what you don’t have,” Salamander teased back.

“Yeah, but she has the thighs!” Sylph babbled. “The thiiiiiiiighs!”

“H-happy birthday,” Gnome managed to weigh in.

“Shut the fuck up, stutter rock,” Eliana snapped back, with a huge grin on her face. She had a way to smile that showed the cracks in her psyche in a way that was adorable. Even after all this time, there was damage to her. Too much had happened during her formative years to ever properly fade. John was happy with the progress they had made over the last two years. Uncontrolled violence was aimed at their enemies, screams and shrill laughter were mostly kept to appropriate times, and they were down to an average of two panic attacks a month.

It wasn’t perfect, but it was enough.

Lydia came in next, wordlessly playing with the hair of the birthday girl, while Nia rubbed cheeks with her. Eliana muttered something about ‘creepy blonde’ under her breath, but was too busy melting into the touches to say it out loud.

Metra came in with a playful chokehold, which escalated into a round of wrestling. Scarlett took over, giving the blood mage a sudden and loving kiss. “What the fuck are you being so… gentle for, capitalist sow?”

“I appreciate you,” the redhead responded calmly. “I know I’m often cold, so I don’t show it, but I do.”

“Stop! Cease! No fucking compliments! My one birthday wish is that you shut the fuck up about what you like about me.”

“”Denied,”” John and Rave spoke in unison, while Lorelei, Lee and Nightingale put Eliana between them. All retorts the pretty little psycho had were squeezed out of her in a series of deep embraces. Hailey and Lulu had her next, getting her passed on to them as a giggling hug-toy. Once they were through, everyone in the bed had gotten their morning hugs in. Fınd the newest release on 𝔫𝔬𝔳𝔢𝔩~𝕗𝕚𝕣𝕖~𝙣𝙚𝙩

John scooped the hug-drunk woman up and carried her princess-style to the living room. “Fake fucking Christ,” she muttered, her nostrils widening as she took in a variety of scents. The kitchen was in full operation and he carried her closer to it. “What am I smelling?”

“Everything,” John answered.

The living room had been given an addition overnight. A set of steel frames surrounded a comfortable seat. It was a nifty set of metal and leather, perfect to assemble into various BDSM related cages and rope anchors.

John tied down the pretty little psycho in her favourite pose. She was folded together, her thighs framing her torso, her ankles bound to a crossbar. Her wrists were bound behind the backrest, leaving her utterly helpless. Well, helpless if one ignored that these steel bars and bamboo fibre rope were like caging a tiger in a cardboard box.

That was the least wholesome part of the morning.

Once Eliana was secured, the maids began to wheel in carts of food. Tiny plates held tiny treats. Puddings, creams, bonbons and other such sweets, stacked three layers high across seven different carts.

“Happy birthday.” John took the spoon Aclysia handed to him, then scooped up the first treat.

Eliana was blushing. Her exceptionally pale, blueish skin was tinted purple by an embarrassment that flooded through her system. “I hate this,” she squeaked happily, then opened her mouth wide. Her teeth were, as always, flawless. Pearly whites, set in symmetry. Her lips soon closed around the spoon, sucking the chocolate pudding off it.

“I love you,” John said.

“Whua-?” Eliana sputtered, her eyes widening, as if this was some kind of biblical revelation. “Shut the fuck up.”

John obliged, but only because his part in this was now relegated to keeping her quiet by shovelling treats in her face. After the physical cuddles earlier, it was now time that the harem – the entire harem – showered her with verbal praise.

Siena marked the beginning. “When we first met, I felt a kinship with you. We were both passionate for righting the world, even if we both were too screwed up to do it. I’ve not always been the best friend, so I am all the happier that you let me stay by your side all this time.”

A spoonful of caramel prevented a no doubt colourful response.

“Psh, friends.” Delicia waved off, only for her smile to turn from mocking to sincere. “Yeah, we’re friends. And I admire a lot about you, most of all your endurance, mental and physical. It takes a big girl to have gone through what you did and come out as intact as you did.”

“I have seen your soul, Eliana.” Lorelei clasped her hands together. “It is beautiful, in all of your contradictions, in all of the hope you carry in spite of what nihilism you sometimes feel.”

“I ain’t got anythin’ high-minded like that to say.” Hailey scratched the back of her head. “I think you’re cute and ya draw fantastic stuff. Ain’t ya ever gonna stop.”

Nia stepped forwards, holding a card. She cleared her throat, reading out what was written on it with a regular amount of human emotion – which was an exceptional amount for their stunted blonde. “You insult me,” she said warmly. “You deride me, but in every cuss of yours, I feel the warmth. We have much in common, you and I, unnerving as we are to many people by our nature. Once you said you were jealous that I am tall and blonde and blue-eyed. There is nothing to be jealous of, my white-haired, purple-eyed, adorably short friend.”

“I hate you. I hate you so fucking much. I hate all of you. Stop this shit. Stop it right-“

John shoved a handmade dark chocolate bonbon in her mouth, then gestured for the harem to continue.

“I like you,” Scarlett reiterated what she had said earlier. “That’s the best I got.”

Undine flowed forwards, bending down to Eliana’s face, and pressing a kiss on her friend’s lips. “Believe in yourself. You deserve happiness. You are never unwelcome in our midst, even when you are loud, even when you are unstable. We know of your efforts.”

“And take that to heart!” Momo insisted. “I’ll repeat it a hundred-thousand times if you need to keep hearing it. I’ll drag you out into the sun, I will pat your head, I will cuddle you silly and I will never, ever stop adoring you!”

Nahoa stepped out from the crowd, seizing her turn. “I know what it is to suffer isolation and pain. I would suffer it all again, if the alternative was not knowing you. Let us dance together in the fields of the future and together let us sacrifice the enemies of our vision.”

“Finally, we’re talking about fucking murder!” Eliana managed to get another word in.

“We all express our adoration for you differently,” John said, then stuffed an extra chewy piece of rice pudding into Eliana’s mouth. All of her protests meant nothing, she was grinning ear to ear, giggling nervously, blushing deeply, and eating whatever he presented her with.

“May I weigh into this?”

The room turned, to see Lyndell stand in the doorframe. John glanced at Eliana, who hesitated, then rolled her eyes as if the question was too retarded to even warrant answering. “The birthday girl says yes,” John interpreted.

“I have not known you for long.” Lyndell approached the group, her voice as even as her strides. “I have not known mankind for long, not in its depths. Yet, I can tell. You pretend to be a shallow soul, with lust and hunger alone. Below the surface, reaching deep, is a woman that should not be alone.” Lyndell stopped with a hand on Eliana’s face. “A woman too charming to be ever left alone.”

“Fuck off, you… horny… perfect ass… sticky cheese mould!”

“Ya can just call her horny mushroom,” Rave threw in.

“I refuse your gifts and that includes your shitty, soap gargling nicknames, seizure hands!”

John deployed the next pacifier.

“I admire your self-care.” Nightingale was the next to speak up. “Knowing that you will deny your mental well-being, I clarify that I mean your physical care. You put work into yourself and it should not go unmentioned. Even as a goddess, you train. You master Martial Arts and you care about the quality of your skin. You take no shortcuts when many are given to you. You are beautiful.”

Metra pushed Nightingale out of the spotlight with a friendly shoulder bump. “I know that there’s someone around here that I can have a proper insult battle with, fuckface.”

The metal frame creaked audibly. John realized, with a light laugh, that Eliana had slowly put more strain on the ropes and the frame as she had gotten complimented. The singular insult had suddenly relaxed her. “You wouldn’t know a proper insult if it smacked its cock down on your face, you broken-in bitch.”

“Yeah, I needed to be trained by Master to behave, you just started as an order-addicted hyper-masochist cumdump.”

“Psh, you just copied my shit after hanging out in my head for years.”

“I… huh, wonder if that is a factor,” Metra surrendered the duel.

“I hope not, would greatly diminish my accomplishments,” John drawled.

“Sister, you haven’t changed in any other way – I think you really were just waiting for some strong man to put you in your place,” Ehtra drawled sarcastically.

Metra gave the grey angel in her maid uniform a smug stare. “How is that glass ziggurat you are sitting in?”

“It’s not the reason why we’re here, no, no it is not!” Sylph declared, zapping her way to the forefront. “We are here today because Eliana is turning old, so very, very old, and yet she is hot, so very, very hot and brave and cute and an honorary concubine is what she is! She draws the bestest pictures and to prove this, I am showing myself off – yes, that is true, I am… where did I leave it? One second!” A gust left the room and a gust entered the room within an actual second. “Here it is! This is me and Sally and Gnome and Siena and Stirwin and Undine and we are looking fly, so fly! This is the cool Fusion logo that Eliana drew, because Eliana is smart and creative and adorable!”

“It’s awful!” Eliana shouted.

Rave crossed her arms. “Your humility is what’s awful. You’re our pretty little psycho and I can’t wait to make a bunch of half-sisters and brothers with you! They’ll be every bit as talented as you are.”

“Hrthrthrhtrhth,” Eliana sputtered incomprehensibly.

“Your breeding craze is too much,” Ehtra criticized, only to blush. “That being said… No one could ever deny that you have the care that a future mother should have. I have known many parents in my time and few of them were as deserving as you are already. I know you will nurture your offspring well.”

Lu Zhi fanned air into her face with unfolded jade. “You are a weapon,” the Heavenly Jade Empress stated. “An individual that on her own could reshape the world. With all of that power, you chose love and a quiet life. You put yourself in service of a higher ideal, when you could have easily murdered and pillaged your way to ordering the world in your image. Such restraint deserves a crown and acknowledgement.”

“I adore your smile, I adore your laughter, I adore your self-deprecation,” Claire chanted. “I adore you, just you alone, for who you are and who you chose to be. Also, your raps are better than you give them credit for.”

“NO, THEY ARE NOT!” Eliana screamed out in something that could vaguely be called happy-panic. “SHUT UP!”

“We will not,” Nathalia stated harshly. “You will hear what you need to hear: I find every inch of you desirable. I treasure your company.” The dragoness crossed her arms, staring insistently. “I will never allow anyone to insult you. From now until the universe grows cold, I will be by your side.”

“I, uh…” Lee scratched the back of her head. “I don’t have anything that, uhm… cool… X: 21299, Y: 5, Z: 14559… you build some really awesome stuff in Minecraft. I just wanted to let you know that.”

“Youuuuuu… NO ONE WAS SUPPOSED TO SEE THAT, YOU BITCH!”

“Then don’t put it on the community server?”

“…Cunt…” Eliana was squirming, using as much room as the ropes gave her.

Lydia continued on, while John appeased the pretty little psycho with another treat. “You are not a woman that would found a nation. Make no mistake, however – women like you are the foundations of dynasties. Know that I believe that you will be the embodiment of perfection in all that you put your mind to.”

“Statement: you are competent,” Beatrice added.

“Yeah, you don’t have to be that fucking self-conscious!” Salamander grinned widely. “Also, I love your taste in music and ultra-violence. Ready to exchange some more playlists, when you got time.”

At this point, Eliana’s eyes were spinning in confusion.

“I, uhm… cherish you deeply,” Gnome said, the penultimate member of the harem who was yet to speak. “I’m so, so happy that you… came back and… that you became such an important part of all of our l-lives and… I know it’s a cliché phrase but… you really brighten the room wherever you go. I love talking to you. It’s never boring when you are around.”

“You are loved,” Aclysia stated. “This past year has etched it so deep that you are in the foundation of all of your lives. I love you. We all love you.”

The final compliments were given. John offered Eliana another spoonful. The rich, cherry-flavoured pudding was left untouched. The Gamer closely inspected the adorable woman. He had thought she had closed her eyes in an attempt to keep herself in check. The reality was a little different.

“She just passed out from all the compliments,” he reported to everyone.

Perhaps that had been too much happiness for her fragile little soul.