Collide Gamer

John spent about thirty minutes observing Lyndell picking up belly dancing. More accurately, about five minutes were spent watching her learn it and twenty-five appreciating her success on the matter. Lyndell behaved the part of the girlfailure, but that was more of a temperament thing than a question of competence.

Having recharged his batteries by watching the beauty of nature in motion, John headed back out to clear the last point of interest for the day: the Wave Dungeon. With that one, he would have had a bunch of checkmarks on the Quest already. The only difficult task at this point would be to get the two first bosses of the next Raid down. Since it would be a new one, the level would be scaled to be quite challenging.

Typically, early bosses were easier though and within five days it should be possible to be done.

As for the other two goals: Taking Lu Zhi’s anal virginity had been on his to-do list for this grinding session anyhow. And adding Lyndell to the harem was just a question of putting the Lover’s Will mark on her at this point.

John already loved her, had from the moment he had witnessed her willingness to give herself up for the world. She obviously had intense feelings for him as well. Thus, all he did was give the harem the time to get to know her as well.

He couldn’t see that going south. Lyndell did not have a particularly strong personality. That was to say that she was way too withdrawn to rub anyone the wrong way. As she had proven when hunting down Tiamat, she had her moments of strong emotions. He doubted she would aim any negative ones at her fellow haremettes.

“We doing this classic style?” Salamander asked.

“That would be my intention,” John responded and scanned the rest of his party for the Wave Dungeon. In addition to Salamander, he had Gnome, Undine and Sylph. In other words, it was him and the original elemental squad.

They had, each of them, changed tremendously since he had started to grind. John preferred not to think about what half of them had looked like in Tier 1, that got a bit weird, but Tier 2 was still quite a difference for many of them. Gnome had been more in Lee’s age range, appearance wise, and a little more petite than her balanced curves were now. Undine had looked entirely different at Tier 2, resembling a lithe woman in a dress made of seafoam before her escapade that led to her temporarily corrupting herself. Salamander had used to have a bowl cut and a look that was more standard fire spirit than tall, hugely endowed warrior woman. Sylph had gone through the least amount of changes. Really, it was only the bunny ears that made a notable difference.

They had, each of them, become more stand-out members of their respective elemental faction over time. Be it by Lorylim-scars, ornate clothing, or simple confidence, their presentation had become more, dare John say it, epic.

“This should be fairly easy,” John said. “Any preferences? City Elementals, Feral, Forest Elementals, Ogres, Orcs or the Undead?”

“I… Umu! I feel like City Elementals,” Gnome declared confidently, then looked around. “W-what does everyone else want?”

“You have spoken.” An undercurrent of mirth mingled with the crystal-clearness of Undine’s sing-song voice.

“Yes, all follow the dear leader! She shall lead us to happy fun horny combat times! Times with such horny and such combat, that no mortal can ever believe it. Indeed, we shall dream of this in our dreams for a thousand lifetimes! Onto the battle!”

“We will dream of it in our dreams?” Salamander repeated mockingly. “Airhead, we need to change out your last brain cell, the sparks of inspiration it produces are clearly faulty.”

“Your face is faulty!”

“Psh, try again another time.” Salamander waved off, leaving Sylph to aggressively pout at the verbal battle lost.

Ever the optimist, she did not retain that state of annoyance for even two seconds. She was right back to buzzing next to John a moment later. The five of them crossed the threshold into the darkness, then John pulled the trigger on Create I.D.

Around them, streets formed – narrow ones, boxed in by skyscrapers. The enormously tall buildings made John nostalgic for the earlier City Elemental Dungeons, with their apartment blocks and office complexes as the largest structures around. Here, too, his rising level had delivered him to a world much grander.

Each of the skyscrapers was an individual work of art. Some were clearly inspired by such buildings as the Empire State Building, others were entirely new structures. None really broke the mould of skyscraper though, meaning that they were all primarily made from concrete and glass.

“Huh?”

Salamander’s confused sound had John direct his attention to what she was looking at. Down the perfectly maintained street rolled a singular wheel. There was some fantastical element to it in the form of runes etched into the sides of the rubber, but that was it. In its profile and dimensions, it was just a car wheel, rolling and bouncing towards them.

“AUDIBLE GASP!” Sylph shouted. “I LOVE THAT MOVIE!”

The Road Rubber did not care for the volt bunny’s fangirling. It accelerated, then suddenly swerved, using the step of the sidewalk to bounce up into the air and then off the side of a building.

John had to fire a Magus Step to escape. He tried to blast the wheel with a Ray, only to hit it dead in the hollow centre. The Road Rubber was a car wheel without any of the metal bits.

It immediately accelerated again, coming for John. Salamander’s intervention saved him from spending further cooldowns. Two of the multi-armed elemental’s hands held conjured spears, which she used to fling the Road Rubber upwards, where it was sliced by gusts of wind.

One wheel was done, but more were already pouring out from the other streets. They swarmed towards their position, filling the streets with the particular sound of screeching wheels absent the roaring of any engines.

“This is stupid,” Undine muttered.

“And I love it,” John answered with a grin. He had missed the goofiness his Instant Dungeons could sometimes possess. Video games weren’t just about telling awesome stories or presenting man-made horrors beyond comprehension. Sometimes, one just wanted a cow level, to explore easter eggs, or to fight a swarm of animated wheels that moved with the coordination of a pack of wolves.

Gnome stomped her feet and the four paths of the intersection simultaneously rose up, turning into ramps. John joined Sylph and Salamander in laughing when a dozen Road Rubbers flew on by overhead, some of them smashing together, others landing on the other side of the empty space in the centre.

“That’s hilarious, you are hilarious, Gnome!” Sylph babbled. “The funniest rock in all of creation! Funniest, cuddliest rock!”

“I, uhm, do what I can?” Gnome responded with a light smile.

John could only agree, but even if this was easier than an Assault, a Wave Dungeon was capable of kicking them out if they got too complacent. “Let’s make a fortress, as per usual. Gnome, Salamander, we’ll defend you while you get that done.”

It may have been a while since they last followed this strategy, but it was so deeply etched into their combat instincts that they slipped right back into it, like an old glove. Their enemies were unusual, capable of leaping huge distances, but they had dealt with similar issues before. John and Gnome still had well over a dozen base fortress designs stored away in their heads.

While Undine, Sylph and John stemmed the tide, the fortress was erected. It was more of a high elaborate pit trap/bunker, once all was said and done. The central dwelling of the party emerged partly from the ground, enough so that they could shoot, but not so much that the Road Rubbers could barrel in.

Their only option of attack was to roll around them, picking up debris or bombarding the party with their telekinetic attacks directly. Neither was particularly effective. While they did their roundabouts, Gnome opened up gaps in the floor beneath them, sending them dropping down into a sea of magma she and Salamander had created together.

Keeping that magma lake going was mana intensive, if only because the Road Rubbers had enough longevity and power to try and escape. Some even managed, resurfacing as half-molten, burning wheels.

“I love the scent of burning rubber in the evening,” Salamander purred.

Undine stretched out a hand as a tendril of inky, black water, yanking one of the wheels into a gap it had almost managed to swerve around. “Did you let them escape only to say that line?”

“I don’t need to fuck up to get opportunities to say cool lines.”

John permitted the banter without comment. He was seated on a bench in the middle of the circular chamber. With the fortress established, his goal was not to partake in the fight. He was a resource manager, ensuring he had the mana to spare and that it would reach the right places.

The Wave was essentially won, all they did now was wait for the entirety of the Road Rubbers to break on their defences. In all of military strategy, there was nothing as absurdly advantageous as a fortified position.

“Except having more firepower than the enemy,” Salamander spoke to his thoughts.

“Even then, that needs to be an Aztec to Spaniard level divide for me to choose the technology over the position,” John responded. “Sylph, could you do a quick sweep?”

“Caaaaaan dooooooo!” The arcvolt element turned into an electric arc, storming her way out of the small opening of their fortified position. Leaving trails of green and blue behind her as she dashed between the four skyscrapers that surrounded their fortified crossroad. Slicing gusts were her preferred instrument of battle, either outright cutting wheels to ribbons or forcing them to fall into holes that Gnome opened and then closed. After ten seconds of rapid dashing around, Sylph zapped back into the chamber. “New record!”

“There was no previous record,” Undine remarked.

“Which makes this one the new one, undoubtedly, unquestionably, un… un- uh… hmm…” Sylph rubbed her chin, wracking her brain for some synonym. “Clearly!” she declared.

“You’ve gotten so much smarter,” John complimented her.

“I know, right?” Sylph grinned from ear to ear and bounced from foot to foot. “I used to be super-duper D stupid and now I am just super stupid! Wait, that’s a downgrade! I am downgrading my bimbo levels! No, I need to be the ditziest, shortiest concubine around! Audible gasp! Am I actually a concubine now that you are a monarch?!”

Gnome blinked at the volt bunny. “Did… did you just realize that?”

“Oh – my – Mother! I am concubine. I am imperial concubine, first imperial concubine! Dibs! I called dibs on this years ago! Dibs, dibs, dibs, diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiibs!”

“You can fucking have it, just stop shouting!” Salamander groaned and lobbed a meteor out of the room. Several Road Rubbers combined their powers in an attempt to divert the projectile. They did not have the strength to do so, not against an Unleashed attack. The burning rock exploded with such force that even Undine’s slime hair was caught in the breeze. “It’s not that impressive of a title.”

“Sally, silly, silly Sally,” Sylph shook her head, “stupid, silly, sublime, stacked, sexy, snuggleable, snackable, sexy Sally…”

“You said sexy twice.” ɴᴇᴡ ɴᴏᴠᴇʟ ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀs ᴀʀᴇ ᴘᴜʙʟɪsʜᴇᴅ ᴏɴ 𝕟𝕠𝕧𝕖𝕝※𝕗𝕚𝕣𝕖※𝕟𝕖𝕥

“As I should!” Sylph said and took two handfuls of the fire spirit’s breasts. The flame bra that enveloped them did nothing to the short greenette, whose hands practically disappeared in the humungous orbs of hotness, hopes and dreams. “Behold! Big ta-tas! They each need to be called sexy!”

Hand on her hip, smiling smugly, Salamander stated, “She got a point.”

“And I am the first concubine of John Newman, first imperial concubine, the concubine of storms, the concubine of bunnies, the most patable concubine, the most shortest concubine, Sylph the Tiny Sleeve, they shall call me! Sylph, with the height of a carry-toy and the hips of a mother of thirty! The legendary first concubine Sylph! They will name ice creams in my honour!”

“This conversation makes me want to scream.” Undine managed to keep her song of a voice on one note throughout that entire sentence.

Sylph spread out her arms and slowly rose from the ground, thunderbolts and lightning, very, very frightening, surrounding her. “In place of a cocksleeve, you will have a concubine! Still submissive and even more beautiful! All shall love me and give me gummy bears!”

“Did you just paraphrase Galadriel’s monologue?” John asked.

Sylph dropped back to the floor, pointed a finger at a wheel, and hit it with a slicing gust before it could crash into one of the pillars holding the roof up. “Yup!” she declared, all of the impressive lightshow gone in an instant. “I would’ve done more, but I am never quite sure what she says in the middle there. It’s all GARARAGASHAR A GUTUUTU kind of fantasy babble to me, with all of the sound effects layered on it.”

“It does get a bit thick on that part,” John agreed. “Still some of if not the best movies ever made.”

“The books are better,” Undine melodically declared.

“…She is, uhm, right, the books are better.”

“Nah,” Salamander disagreed. “Just because of the battle scenes in the movies, you’re wrong.”

“Movies all the way!” Sylph declared.

“John. Tiebreaker?” Undine posed the question and all of the women looked at him with hopeful eyes – while also keeping the enemy monsters at bay.

“…Movies,” he said.

“YES!” Salamander gestured wildly in the direction of her calmer brethren. “IN YOUR FACE!”

Undine just shrugged and turned her attention back outwards.

Gnome created a small rock just to kick it, while pouting. “Uncultured.”

They continued to banter about movies until they had neutralized the entire Wave and the boss at the end.