The Simulacrum

The formless void trembled. It was a contradiction made manifest. It was boundless, yet constrained. A lack of space and dimension, yet a place in itself. It was empty, yet it was filled with endless stars, and it had no beginning or end, yet its edges were frayed, as if gnawed upon by an insatiable, infinite hunger.

And yet, it trembled. The void, the stars, the frayed edges, they all shook and rippled as a lake's surface disturbed by an uncounted deluge of raindrops. There was a sensation suffused into the void. It was close to an emotion, but hard to put into words. A sense of anticipation. Expectation. Yearning. As if something was about to happen, and the formless emptiness was waiting with bated breath for it to finally occur. Whatever it was, it was surely something momentous.

At last, it began. A ripple of colour spread across the black canvas, like an aurora borealis. A glimmer of gold, the colour of sand and sunlight. A dash of azure and cerulean, the shades of clear skies and calm seas. More and more joined as they danced in a slow waltz of colours, each and every hue more brilliant than the next. As the lights spread, the countless stars began to swirl. First slowly, then faster, as if caught in the pull of a maelstrom. Faster and faster they spun, their trajectories revealing something resembling the outlines of the void.

The tiny stars danced to a rhythm only they could perceive, white streaks intertwined by all the colours known to man, and many more beyond. The music they painted on the fabric of the void grew to a crescendo. The lights burned brighter. The colours grew sharper, and the stars moved ever faster, their trails becoming a solid vortex. The light and the colours and the stars were all so close to each other that they blended into one, and the entire universe was washed in a brilliant display of pure, unfiltered, blinding whiteness...

And then, ignition.

Was it a spark of anger? Frustration? Or maybe just a sigh of relief upon some unseen shackles falling away? Regardless, the white flame erupted, the space between spaces itself transforming into a conflagration of such intensity that its light would've seared the eyes of anyone who would've dared gaze upon it.

It was a nova of light, sound, heat, and raw, primal energy. Then, at last, as the searing white reached the frayed edges of the void and filled in the space between spaces, like molten metal poured into a mould, one more explosion. This one not of light or heat or colour, but of intent. A triumphant zenith, wrapped in a single sentence:

"CHECKMATE, YOU BLOODY SON OF A MUPPET!"

~~~

Wow. Okay. So, that might not have been the most dignified way to announce my... erm... birth? Was that accurate? In any case, I cut myself some slack, because bloody hell, I cut that waaay too close.

But back to the whole 'birth' thing. I had a body now, so that checked out. I mean, I had a body before, but not an all-caps BODY like this. It was very hard to explain, but it almost felt like I've been stuffed inside a suitcase all my life, and I was able to stretch out my limbs for the first time ever. I was vast, and unfathomable, and indescribable, and...

"I'm still me, right?" I asked out of habit, and quickly combed through my memories. "Yeah, I still feel like me, but..."

Before I even finished the thought, I suddenly understood what was going on. Or rather, I always understood, but I just... forgot? No, it was more like... how should I put this...?

...

Oh, and now I suddenly knew exactly how to put it and why it was happening. Colour me black and white and call me a zebra; I was actually correct about something! The universe really was Leos all the way down! I had a nigh-infinite number of 'me'-s kind of compartmentalised away, just like other-me and narrative-me used to be, yet all of them were essentially ME. All-caps and all.

Every version of me was experiencing my existence, and would freely merge in and out of current-me without breaking continuity. That made me, essentially, Leo Prime.

...

Actually, scratch that name. If I said that out loud, the girls would make fun of me for it for weeks. If I were lucky.

As for my BODY, the words of Oriole sprang to mind, back when I still called her The Girl. If this consciousness and personality were 'who I was', then the impossibly vast, unfathomable, and inscrutable thing surrounding me was 'what I was'. In other words, this was my... Domain? Did that make me an Emergent?

...

Oh, there it is. More knowledge is merging in, making me feel stupid for even asking that question. Of course I was an Emergent. I was one all along, except I was... different? Now that I think about it, why was I stuffed into a suitcase again? Metaphorically speaking, of course?

I was sure that if I waited for just a bit longer, some of my parallel-'me'-s would drop by with a ready-made answer to that question, gift-wrapped and all, but I felt like I was forgetting about something important. I mean, something personally important, not necessarily in the grand cosmic scale of things… or maybe there was some overlap, now that I thought about it, and—

"Ah, right!" I wanted to snap my fingers, but I didn't have any. I'd have to fix that later, but first… "Where's that bloody son of a muppet?"

I, well… 'looked around' wasn't quite the right way to put it. It was more like I expanded my Domain like an enormous amoeba feeling out its surroundings. I felt so very big, and all-encompassing, and—

"Oh, there you are!"

My Domain, for lack of better terms, 'reached out' towards the familiar gnawing sensation. Funnily enough, it was already 'inside me', in a matter of speaking, so I just had to fully envelop it, and then…

…

Erm… What was I supposed to do with him again? I was woefully inexperienced with this stuff. I was more used to the 'whack with sword' paradigm of combat, not whatever the heck this was. It also felt profoundly less satisfying than just decking the bastard across the chin, if it even had any.

Stuck in this dilemma for a long moment, I finally remembered something else. This time, it wasn't some other segmented-off variant of my consciousness dropping by to say hello, but one of my original memories, and after feeling around a little bit, I found a very familiar location.

There was no reason to overthink it. I grabbed hold of the Predator Moon, ignoring all the gnashing and shredding he was doing, and flung him with all my might, my consciousness following right after. At first, it's deafening silence. Then an ear-splitting cacophony, like a million bowling balls tumbling through a million giant panes of sheet glass. Finally, a crash that was somehow even louder, followed by a startled scream.

"Eeek! W-What's going on!?"

"Calm down, Obsidius!" Carmine's voice tried to rise above the noise, but it was drowned out by the mountain of screeching maws and snapping jaws. It was distracting (not to mention disturbing), so I gave him a good smack to pipe down.

"GRAAAAAAH!"

The strike sent the mass of bone and fangs flying, and it hit the other end of the not-dark not-room, finally quieting down. It was… less satisfying than expected. I should probably try again, but first, a makeover.

An Emergent's form was all about 'Definition', and I had more than enough history to define myself as myself. After but a moment, my amorphous presence sprouted a torso, then four limbs and a head. The small details also came to me naturally. My face, my hair, my school uniform. Even the Leoformer in my belt buckle was reproduced perfectly, and as soon as I was humanoid again, I turned to the four Emergents huddled around the control pedestal and waved at them.

"Hi, guys! Sorry for crashing in like this, but it was a bit of an emergency." It was only at this point that I realised that our dynamic entry left a… well, 'hole' was a gross oversimplification, but let's call it a 'gap in the boundaries of the not-dark not-room' for the sake of simplicity. "Oh, wow. My bad. Here, let me try to fix it up in a jiffy."

Lacking any better way to go about it, I used my Domain to plug the not-hole in the not-wall of the not-room, and even though the not-walls had no colour, it was easy to tell where I patched it up, because it was a different colour. This place was just counterintuitive like that.

Anyhow, as soon as I finished, I turned to the Emergents and flashed my friendliest smile along the words, "See? As good as new!"

Based on her expression, Carmine was the first one who recognised me, yet she was so confounded by this development that Oriole beat her to the punch, and she dashed up to me.

"Wow! You did it! Congratulations!"

"Erm… Thanks, but…" Just as I was about to explain the situation, there was a roar in the back, and a giant kaiju-monster lurched towards me, made of a jigsaw of bones and all kinds of small animal parts. It was big, and scary, and angry, so I did the only reasonable thing under the situation. "I haven't forgotten about you! Shut up and wait for your turn!"

I threw a punch by reflex, and the patch on the wall formed by my Domain responded in kind, elongating like a hydraulic piston and decking the creature across the not-dark not-room again. Once the dust settled, my Domain retracted, while I stared at my fist. This was… slightly better, but it still wasn't quite the satisfaction I was looking for.

"Was… Was that the Venerated Predator Moon?" Obsidius inquired in a mousy voice, and while the answer was quite self-explanatory, Fulgor barged forward without paying him any heed.

"It's you! I mean… ah… You never gave us your name, but I can recognize a fellow man of culture anywhere!"

"Yep, it's me. Hello, Fulgor," I paused to nod at the others too, "Carmine, Obsidius. Sorry about the mess, but—"

"Who are you?!" a familiar, screech voice bellowed as the mountain of bones (which itself was just the proverbial tip of the planet of bones) coalesced into an equally familiar, spindly humanoid creature. "Identify yourself!"

I couldn't help but blink at the Predator Moon with the deadpannest expression I could muster, and then I raised a finger towards the Emergent Quartet.

"A moment, please. I have one buck-wild story to share with you guys, but first, I need to deal with him. Give me a subjective minute." I didn't wait for their response and immediately turned on my heels, then approached the belligerent bastard with a loud, "What do you mean 'identify yourself', you bloody bony bellend!? After spending all this bloody time treating me like I was the world's tastiest pickle, the least you could do is to recognise me!"

The Predator Moon's eyeless face of constantly shifting and churning bands, claws, and bones was somehow even more blank than usual, at least until I could sense a vague spark of recognition in him, and his already threatening voice dropped a whole octave.

"You! You are the interloper! Who are you! Answer me!"

"Here we go with the one-sided demands again…" Shaking my head, I crossed my arms and loudly declared, "Fine! If you want to know so badly, you can just call me Leonard S. Dunning."

There was a flat 'What?' coming from behind me, clearly from Fulgor, while the ivory knob in front of me was once again giving me a blank stare, which was impressive for a being without any visible eyes.

"Ah, whatever. Let me help you out a little. Can you guess what the 'S' in my middle name stands for?"

"S?" he repeated after me, then fell silent, allowing Carmine to voice her own conjecture.

"Is it 'Simulacrum'?" she asked, sounding both apprehensive and fascinated at the same time, and her expression soon turned confounded when I shook my head.

"Close, but you're not thinking big enough." I let that sink in with a long pause, then I raised a hand, fingers poised for a snap. "The 'S' stands for 'Sol'."

A snap and a crackle later, the part of my domain plugging up the hole flared to life, its blinding light instantly turning the not-dark not-room into the quite-illuminated not-room.

"Praise the sun!"

I was just about to give a piece of my mind to the bitey bellend when I heard someone yelling out next to me, and when I turned to face her, I very nearly facepalmed at the sight of the girl with her arms spread in a cross shape.

"Really, Oriole? Really? You're embarrassing me."

She just giggled without a shred of guilt in her eyes, and I would've given her a lecture on the proper use of out-of-context jokes, jests, and references, but I had more important things to take care of first, so I shelved that for later. The Predator Moon was still confused, and as much as it was unsportsmanlike, the tosser had been spending the last subjective eternity tormenting me, so I felt little qualms about hitting him with a cheap shot.

My body moved through the space of the not-dark not-room with a familiar sensation quite reminiscent of Phasing, and before he knew what hit him, I did, my fist digging into the left cheek of its ugly mug and sending him flying again.

"Ah, that's it!" The elation burst out of me as all the pent-up stress and indignation I built up since this bastard first barged into the Simulacrum was channelled into that straight. "That was for all the goddamn biting!"

He roared back at me, his form once again overlaid by the immense size and weight of the bone-white planetoid… so I Phased over and hit it even harder, sending him flying in the other direction.

"And that was for trying to ruin the scenario and screwing over all my friends!"

The Predator Moon hit the not-wall of the not-dark not-room and bounced back, putting him into the perfect position for a lariat, and while that was superfluous, I really wanted to see the princess's face when I told her about this, so I went for it.

"And this is for purposefully targeting my girlfriends!"

The impact sent the ivory bastard flying once again, but this time with extra-silly spinning, and then he eventually fell and landed roughly at the halfway point between the other Emergents and me.

While all of this was going on, I didn't forget to keep squeezing his Domain with mine, and it caused his lanky, creepy form to shift and waver. He still managed to get back to his feet and roar at the quartet.

"What are you doing? Aid me!"

"Now, hold your horses, you big bony baby. This is between you and me, and nobody else gets between us until I'm done venting my grievances with this here fist, so you better clench your teeth. All of them."

Realising that the other Emergents weren't moving, the lanky freak faced me with as much bravado as he could muster and bellowed, "Do you think you can walk away from this after what you've done here? After what you've done to me? Do you have any idea who I am!?"

"Of course I do. You're the Predator Moon, a vicious, irritating, unreasonable…" I was planning to keep rattling off more less-than-flattering adjectives, but looking at him made me pause. "Actually, I take it back. The name 'Predator Moon' is way too badass to be wasted on a wanker like you. You're more of a Bob than anything else."

His body language abruptly changed, and he let out a throaty groan, the echo of a stifled scream.

"You! How dare you dare Define me?!"

"What, you don't like your new name, Bob? I gave it to you for free, Bob. Why are you so ungrateful, Bob?" He continued to groan as the amalgam of bones that made up his body churned and roiled like he was boiling from the inside. "Actually, no! Even the name 'Bob' is too good for you! You're… Yes! You're a Benjamin!"

"Argh! Stop! I will not be Defined by the likes of—!"

"Shut up, Benjamin! The adults are talking!" He reeled back like I hit him, even though I was nowhere near him. "Definition this, Definition that… If you keep insisting, then I'll just have to Define you with the most humiliating of all possibilities! I am, of course, talking about…" I paused for dramatic effect, then raised my hands over my head menacingly. "… Mikey's Curse!"

I was expecting some shocked gasps, but there was only confused silence, so I turned to the Emergents.

"You know? Mikey's Curse? Anyone?" I was still getting the silent treatment, though I could swear Fulgor knew the trope I was talking about and just didn't want to admit it. "Oh, come on! Read a book, people!"

Meanwhile, the bony prick tried to use the moment I was paying attention elsewhere to escape, but I caught him before he could get any headway and raised my hands up again.

"That's it! Face the consequences of your actions! Mikey's Curse be upon thee!" I said, but it was more like… how should I put it? Kind of the reverse of my naming of the other Emergents. If that was looking at one of them, subconsciously tallying all their most attractive and endearing traits, and then distilling it into the Emergent language in the form of a word like 'Oriole', this was more like cherry-picking some minor traits, or even imposing new ones, and then hammering on them until they become their new Definition. "Benjamin!"

The slightly less bony bastard reeled like I just hit him with a hammer, but that was just the beginning.

"Benjamin, Benjamin, Benjamin!" Each time I stressed his name, his form would twist, and his clawed, fanged, bony features would recede. "Ben-jaaa-min! Beeen-ja-miiin! Benny-Benny-Benjamin!"

"Argh! Stop! Stop this at once! Stop, or else I'll… I'll…"

With each repetition, his voice grew less like nails on a chalkboard and more like an actual human voice, and at long last, it was time for the coup de grace. I raised my hand even higher, took a deep breath for a dramatic beat, and then yelled, "BENJAMIN!"

With a flash, the last piece of the puzzle fell into place, and so did he onto his knees, looking at his small, pale hands with a pair of large, ruby-red eyes.

"What have you done to me!" he cried, and it did sound like the tantrum of a kid, exactly what he looked like.

I decided to make him as un-threatening as possible, so I went with a kind of androgynous shota look, with an albino complexion, long straight silver hair, a white shirt with puffy sleeves, pumpkin britches, and a pair of bright red suspenders to complete the look. Sure, this kind of forceful re-Definition was temporary at best, but I couldn't think of a better way to humiliate this haughty, ravenous dick.

"Haha! Look at you, Benjamin! You're now…!" My words trailed off as I watched the outraged eldritch horror in the guise of a kid tug at his clothes with a mixture of fury and panic, and a heavy realisation settled upon me. "Goddamit. Now you're too cute to beat up. I'm hoisted by my own petard, and hindsight is still my worst enemy…"

"You monster!" Benjamin roared at me and dashed over, then started beating on my thigh with his teeny-little fists. "How dare you?! How dare you?!"

While that was going on, I noticed that the rest were also huddled together, so I uttered a slightly apprehensive, "What?"

"You're kind of scary…" Obsidius blurted out, only to immediately cover behind Carmine. "Eeep! D-Don't turn me into a newt!"

"Why would I ever…? Not to mention, if I could turn any of you into a newt, it would be Oriole, after that whole 'Praise the sun!' nonsense she pulled."

My words made the pigtailed girl hiccup, and her orbital rings faded into monochrome from shock.

"W-Wait! It was just a joke! I mean, we all knew that now that you're awake, everything would be all right, so what's a joke between friends?"

Before I could formulate a response, Carmine lightly cleared her throat, her crimson eyes focused on me alone.

"Putting what happened to the Venerable…" She suddenly stopped, and after a few failed attempts, she resigned herself to utter, "The Venerable Benjamin aside…"

The not-so-bony kid let out a vail in response that almost made me want to reflexively pat his head, despite logically knowing that he was still the same weird predatory planetoid thing inside. Carmine waited for him to finish, then cleared his throat again.

"So, Leonard Sol Dunning?"

"Just Leo will do," I interjected, and she inclined her head.

"Leo, then. Can you explain what is actually going on?"

Oriole, desperate to move the conversation along, flashed a toothy smile and exclaimed, "Oh, that's a long story!" in a birdsong-y voice. "It all started with the Crowned Coalescence finding Sol and the Artifical Domain being stirred, and then Leo was inside the scenario, and…"

"Hold on!" Fulgor interrupted next. "You were inside the scenario? Are you telling me you were the second Free Actor all along? Wait, let me phrase that differently. Are you… Are you the actual Leonard Dunning from the scenario?"

I nodded along, but a different name from before made me stop in my tracks, and I addressed Oriole again.

"Where's the Crowned Coalescence, anyway?"

"I don't know," she admitted with a shrug. "You know him. He always likes to make dramatic entrances, so he should show up any minute now."

"No, actually, I don't know him. Not really, and…" The mention of 'dramatic entrances' gave me this odd sensation, similar to the one from before. Like I was forgetting something really, really important. It felt like it would remain a nagging feeling for a long time, but then, like a bolt out of the blue, I suddenly remembered. "Oh, shit! The finale!"

"What finale?" Fulgor's brows descended into a thunderous frown. "The scenario is over."

Even Obsidius backed him up, saying, "Yes. I confirmed it."

"No, it isn't. I had to cheat a bit because a certain someone was literally eating me from the outside-in and the inside-out at the same time. Speaking of which…" Reaching down, I picked up the kid still ineffectually beating on my leg and abdomen by the scruff of his neck (figuratively, of course) and handed him over to Carmine. "Hold him for a second, please."

She automatically accepted him, and only when he started struggling and kicking at her did she hurriedly say, "I'm sorry, Venerated Benjamin. I meant no disrespect."

Little bony Benjamin's eyes opened wide, and he started wailing and cursing again, but I wasn't paying much attention to him anymore, because I was already reaching out towards the hole in the side of the quite-bright not-room.

"Don't go anywhere, I'll be right back!"

And with that said, I immediately left to tie up a few dangling loose ends before some timey-wimey block bollocks could bite me in the ass. In other words, this day wasn't over just yet.