Chapter 12 - Introspections
[Quest Completed: End the Grey Dog Gang's criminal activities]
{Skill points awarded: 2}
Scarlett glanced at the window of text before her as the buildings of Freybrook passed by outside the carriage window. She wasn't quite sure what the criteria were for a quest to be considered complete. The two previous quests had announced their completion at clear and relevant occasions, but this one didn't appear until a while after she'd met with the count. It was odd that it worked differently, but perhaps it was just because something she was unaware of had not happened until now. Some delayed response to her actions or something like that.
She pushed the matter out of her mind and turned back to observing the passing buildings and crowds. The streets of downtown Freybrook were as lively as they came, it appeared. She lifted her gaze towards the count's mansion situated on the hill overlooking this part of the city. The structure was visible even outside Freybrook. It had a central tower whose red tiles created a stark contrast with the clear blue sky. If she was correct, that was where the count's office was.
She was still finding it hard to believe that she was now a person who would visit important places like that. That she was important. Despite how easy—how natural—it was for her to act the part due to the original Scarlett's remaining influence, the part of her that was still Amy Bernal couldn't completely shake off the strangeness of the whole situation. And annoyingly enough she found herself at odds with that part of herself.
Up till now, all her actions had been working from the assumption that she had to act fast. She had to establish control and a base for herself to safely operate from because that is what she had told herself was the best method of staying safe in this new world. But in the process of doing that she had probably leaned further into the Scarlett part of her than she originally wished. Honestly, at times she wasn't even certain what part of her a certain thought came from. She knew she was Amy Bernal, but adhering too much to such a mindset was also likely to set her back. She couldn't gawk at every other sight, hesitate in every other interaction, hold back against thieves and murderers. Those were all things the original part of her wanted to do, but that she had denied herself.
But she had also promised not to lose herself. The first thing she'd done in this world, after she realized that her thoughts and mind weren't completely her own, was to promise she wouldn't forget who Amy Bernal was. And yet she felt she'd already gone far too close to doing so on more than one occasion.
But then what was she supposed to do? She wasn't the original Amy Bernal. Amy would never have been able to subject a man to second-degree burns just because she wanted information. Amy would never have been able to watch a man be tortured in cold blood. So hadn't she already lost herself, in a manner? She'd considered it necessary actions at the time, but now that she had time to reflect on it she wasn't sure what to think. Was her wish even realistic? Was it even possible to hold on to your past self after having such a large part of your core personality forcefully changed? Was it too late to try and change the way she approached this world?
"What are you frowning about?" a voice asked from the other side of the carriage. Scarlett spun her head to look at the blonde-haired woman that sat in the seat opposite her. Kat had her hair loose today, with some of it covering part of her blue eyes. "I thought you said it went well."
Scarlett wordlessly looked at the Shielder for a moment before turning back to the window. "It did," she answered curtly. She didn't feel like elaborating on her complicated thoughts at the moment.