Surviving a Harsh Fantasy with Cheat Items (WN)

On that day, people from all over the world gathered in Ravenna, the holy capital at the heart of the Eura Continent, turning the city into a whirlwind of festivities.

For humans, it was the wedding of Empress Elizabeth of the Holy Germania Empire and the young Pope Anastasia II, the highest authority of the Asama Church.

For demons, however, it was the unthinkable—nothing less than the wedding of the Mother of Chaos herself.

At the grand ceremonial gate of the holy city, a sign proclaimed the occasion as the Wedding of the Century’.

In truth, the ‘century’ hardly seemed grand enough to describe it; this was a once-in-the-history-of-the-world event, unprecedented across the long history of both humans and demons.

Later, I heard that the Asama Church took full advantage of the opportunity, selling good luck charms, safe-birth amulets, wedding commemorative stamps, coins, and other souvenirs to the visiting masses, amassing a staggering profit. The donations alone must have been extraordinary. It made me chuckle to realize that churches often had sharper business acumen than merchants themselves.

Yet for me, the main character in this unparalleled historical event, it was no laughing matter…

「Takeru, hold yourself together! Hey, dragon girl, more tonic—go go!」

「It’s ready!」

A voice—a shout from Oracle, accompanied by the assistant dragon maid—echoed faintly in my ear. A bitter medicinal taste flooded my mouth, and the tonic’s strength pulled my consciousness back sharply.

「Ugh…」

「Ah, you’re awake. How do you feel?」

「This…rejuvenation by force is something I’ll never get used to.」

I realized the unusually soft ‘pillow’ beneath me was Ria’s chest. Apparently, Ria, Oracle, and the others had been feeding me holy milk amrita and more tonics, giving me enough strength to recover.

Memories slowly returned.

I’d somehow managed to consummate my marriage with my thirteen slave brides one by one—thanks to Sherry’s meticulous scheduling, I’d achieved this Guinness-worthy feat in just under six hours. But then…out of nowhere, tentacle oneesan joined us on bed.

「Ugh…」

After that, I remembered nothing.

「I’m just glad you’re okay, though that…encounter was intense even by my standards. That…style was beyond niche.」

「Sorry for putting you through that, Ria.」

If even Ria thought it was extreme, I could only imagine the situation.

「The Mother of Chaos certainly takes things to extremes. Takeru, forgive me for not being able to stop her.」

「No, Oracle, I appreciate that you took care of me afterward.」

Whatever Oracle meant by ‘extreme’ piqued my curiosity, but something told me I was better off not remembering. I could still feel a certain slickness on my skin…

Finally, I rose from bed, and after everyone helped clean me up, I changed into the groom’s tuxedo and stepped out of the lodge. Despite it being morning, the sun looked…yellow.

It might be common for a groom to stay up on his wedding night, but I doubt there’s another groom in this world who saw the sun turn yellow the morning before the ceremony.

「So, where is everyone now?」

「Yes, they’re all getting fitted into their dresses.」

Traditionally, brides wear white on their wedding day, but it seemed my brides had a preference for red wedding dresses. When they explained that this was the color they’d worn throughout our time together, it made sense.

Thus, the dress colors were left to their choice, but even the gowns weren’t the most eye-catching thing at the moment. That honor went to Zither, the court minstrel, who had been strumming her lute non-stop since early morning.

「Are you planning to play at your own wedding?」

「Yes, I composed a wedding march just for today.」

Zither replied proudly, strumming her lute while wearing a yellow wedding dress.

「Elegant sound. It suits the occasion… but—」

「Don’t worry. When it’s my turn for the kiss, I’ll pass the baton to the orchestra.」

「Fair enough, though we’ll have the vows before the kiss.」

It seemed she couldn’t be content without performing herself. I let her do as she pleased.

With everything set, the time of the wedding drew near. Down the wedding road lined with thousands of guests, my brides walked first, waving to the crowd.

Then it was my turn, walking down the path to cheers, before ascending the grand marble stairs. The scene felt less like a wedding march and more like walking into a final boss’s temple.

「Or maybe… the last chapter.」

As I reached the top of the stairs, the grand cathedral—the most magnificent in the holy city—came into view. Only a select few guests could enter here.

Inside, familiar faces from royalty and dignitaries around the world stood in solemn attendance. Among the musicians led by Zither was none other than Wake, joining in.

「Yo! World’s Greatest Harem, hero!」

Among the celebratory shouts, he just had to slip that in, making me chuckle. With all the bouquets we’d prepared, I might just toss one at him later and nudge him toward marriage too.

At the center of the church, clad in a pure white wedding dress, stood the young Pope Anastasia II, ready to perform the role of officiant.

「Well… officiating my own wedding feels a bit odd, but…」

She suddenly paused. With her head lowered, her eyes closed, something seemed amiss.

「Is everything alright?」

I started toward her, thinking something was wrong, when large silver wings unfurled from her back. A divine light descended from the church’s ceiling, spreading outward to envelop the entire holy city.

「Asama?」

「Indeed. You didn’t forget about me, did you, my hero, Sawatari Takeru?」

「Not at all. I’m surprised you made it with your busy schedule.」

「Today was marked on my calendar, and with peace thanks to you, my workload has lightened.」

「That’s wonderful to hear.」

「Hmm. Yet you don’t seem very surprised. I thought my grand entrance would be a nice surprise for the ceremony.」

Even the Goddess of Creation planning a surprise entrance for a wedding is a bit much.

「Well, it’s my third time seeing something like this, so…」

「You’re not even startled anymore?」

「Nope.」

A once-in-a-lifetime event… but I had a feeling she’d come.

With a wry smile, Asama declared,

「Then, as the Goddess of Creation, I shall officiate this ceremony!」

「Please do.」

「Now then, Sherry—do you, in health and in sickness, take Sawatari Takeru as your husband, to cherish him as long as you live?」

「I do.」

「Next, Flora—do you, in health and in sickness, take Sawatari Takeru as your husband…?」

It seemed Asama intended to go through the vows with each bride individually. By the time she finished with all thirteen, even the goddess was a bit out of breath.

「…Next, uh, Takeru.」

「Yes.」

Even though it’s not actually my turn yet.

「This is getting a bit much… mind if I skip some parts?」

「If everyone’s okay with it, I don’t see why not.」

Everyone nodded in agreement, no objections there.

「Alright, skipping to the end. Ladies, you’re all good. Hero Sawatari Takeru, do you pledge to take all these brides here as your wives?」

Suppressing a smile at how much she was abbreviating, I responded, ‘I do!’

「Very well! And now, the moment you’ve all been waiting for—the kiss to seal this happy ending!」

Asama always made these grand entrances, only to get impatient and fast-track things halfway through. I couldn’t help but chuckle.

「Onii-sama!」

「Masta!」

「「「「「「「「「「「Master! 」」」」」」」」」」」

And with that, I was surrounded by my thirteen brides, each giving me a flurry of kisses.

「All at once, huh?」

I could barely catch my breath, but hey, they wanted to do it together.

「Next up, Sarah-chan?」

「We’ve kissed plenty, but now I’m officially your bride.」

She said, planting a sweet kiss.

Then it was Rara-chan, my half-reptilian, tail-flicking bride.

「The wedding’s all good, Takeru-san, but let’s make babies soon!」

「Ehto, you’re only thirteen, Rara-chan. Let’s… discuss it later, alright?」

She reached up on her toes, her tail swishing as she gave me an eager kiss. Almost overwhelming.

Then came the spies—blonde Juliana and black-haired Harlene with her twin tails.

「We’re new here, so please look after us.」

「We’ll protect you always, Hero.」

They each gave me light kisses. Wait… shouldn’t the groom initiate at some point?

Next up were my bodyguards—dark dwarf Berenice and golden drill-haired Clementine.

「We’re newcomers, King-sama.」

「I don’t feel that way with the two of you.」

I replied. They’d been by my side for so long.

「I know I’m a bit mischievous but we’re in your care.」

「First time I’ve heard a standard greeting from you.」

「Pardon?」

「Nothing. Berenice, Clementine, come over here. I’d like to give the vows kiss myself.」

「Alright!」 「Yes.」

「Thank you both. Here’s to us.」

The next in line were knights, too—black-haired Jill-san, Royal Guard Commander, and chestnut-haired Marina-san, captain of the knights.

「Ehto…」

「Jill-san, you can call me Takeru now. We’re getting married.」

「Of course, Takeru. You’ll initiate the kiss?」

「Yes, I will.」

I kissed her as she shyly closed her eyes.

「Marina-san, I look forward to our future together.」

「Thank you… likewise!」

Following Jill-san’s lead, Marina-san seemed a bit nervous. Maybe I should be more proactive with her as time goes on. She’ll get used to it.

Ah, here comes Hydra, the beast tamer.

「King-sama, I’m already expecting.」

「Wait, really?」

I blinked in surprise, though I could remember certain occasions. Still, this was quick!

「Oracle-sama felt it.」

「Just a feeling, huh.」

I felt a bit relieved, though I knew I shouldn’t dismiss an oracle’s words so easily. Guess I’d better prepare myself mentally.

「Having lots of children with King-sama is a sure way to get promoted, right?」

「Alright, alright, let’s focus on the wedding first.」

I kissed Hydra, though her comment about ‘getting promoted’ afterward was… a bit much. Honestly, I didn’t want to think about what comes next after this wedding. Happy endings are where stories should conclude.

Ah, there’s the sound of the lute again.

「Zither, it’s time to put down the instrument.」

「Yes!」

With her honey-colored hair in long curls and her adorable dress, Zither looked lovely. If only she weren’t strumming the lute nonstop.

「We’re getting married, you know.」

Watching her play with such innocent joy, I wondered if she even understood.

「Yes, I love you, Takeru-sama. Please look after me.」

She’s straightforward like that. This girl is a true musical genius but so delightfully out of tune with life.

「I love you too, Zither. Let’s make it work together.」

I kissed the ever-cheerful Zither. Next up was Cecily, now a princess across the sea in the kingdom of Times.

With her deep purple hair and two buffalo-like horns, she looked every bit a royal with demon sea emperor’s blood.

「I know I’m still lacking, but I look forward to a lifetime with you!」

「Me too, Cecily.」

I said gently, giving her a soft kiss. Standing behind her were her three attendants.

「It seems it’s our turn after Cecily-sama.」

「I’m feeling a bit nervous.」

「Well, this is a lifelong vow.」

Said Miya-san, the blonde, Meya-san, with blue hair, and Neya-san with black hair. The three of them stepped forward together to replace Cecily.

「Um…」

「「「We pledge to serve you with our hearts for as long as we live. 」」」

They said in unison, bowing gracefully.

「I promise to make you happy, Miya-san, Meya-san, and Neya-san.」

I kissed each one in turn. Now it was Sister Marea’s turn.

「So it’s finally time for me to retire as the saint assigned to the hero.」

With her sepia-colored hair and a pure white wedding dress, Sister Marea looked like any other young lady. I wondered, though, if a sister getting married was really alright. But if Ria could do it, I suppose it’s fine.

「Alright, Marea-san, let me officially retire you.」

「I vow to love you for eternity…」

「And I vow to make you happy.」

I replied, and kissed her.

As I thought back to the ritual contest between Archbishop Rosa and Bishop Marea, I recalled that Marea-san had become my designated saintess. Now, at the moment of our kiss, she would retire, passing the role of hero’s saintess to the fiery red-haired Archbishop Rosa.

「Now it’s my turn to be the hero’s saintess. I never imagined it would end so soon!」

「Would you like to keep the role a bit longer?」

「Oh, don’t tease me so.」

「Alright, Rosa-san, it’s time for you to retire too.」

「I would be delighted.」

With that, I kissed Rosa-san, officially retiring her as well.

「Alright, next up is Eliza. Are you okay?」

The young Empress, Elizabeth, was visibly tense.

「Y-yes, I’m okay. I can handle it.」

「Good, just relax.」

I said, leaning down and gently holding her small shoulders. Hopefully, that helped calm her down a bit.

「Um, my husband…」

「Take it easy, Eliza. There’s no rush; let’s go at your pace.」

「…I vow my eternal love.」

「Yes, Eliza. I vow to love and protect you always.」

Our faces naturally drew closer, and we shared a kiss.

Then, the final challenge awaited.

The last one was the Mother of Chaos—tentacle oneesan who, somehow, had followed us all this way. Whether she understood or not, she was even wearing a proper white wedding dress.

「Mother of Chaos-sama, um…」

「Yaho!」

Though on closer inspection, even her wedding dress was… swaying with tentacles! Alright, here goes nothing!

I braced myself for a tentacle embrace and kissed her.

「Phew, that went smoother than expected.」

「So, this is marriage!」

Could it be? Did the Mother of Chaos just learn the concept of marriage? That might be quite an achievement.

At that moment, something scattered from the sky above.

「Whoa, what’s this?」

They looked like some kind of roots, but when I split one open, it was hollow inside…

「Marriage!」

「No, this is a lotus root!」

TN: Marriage=kekon, Lotus root=renkon

Another pun to end things, huh. Well, I do like lotus root, so I’ll be sure to cook it up later!

「Phew, I’m exhausted from all the reactions.」

「You did well.」

Came a voice from the final arrival, the young Pope, Anastasia II.

Her silver wings had disappeared, leaving silver feathers floating around her.

Standing there, crowned in flowers and draped in a wedding dress, was a small girl. It seemed Asama had finished her role and departed.

「Anastasia, it looks like you’re the last one.」

「Yes, but be at ease. Takeru, you’ll make everyone happy. I can already see that future.」

I trusted Anastasia’s blessing completely.

「Thank you for that. Alright, Anastasia, let’s finish with the vow of a kiss.」

Kissing the young pope was a bit… but it’s a ceremonial marriage, after all.

「It’s not just ceremonial, you know?」

She seemed a bit miffed.

Right, I’d forgotten she could read thoughts.

「Alright, I’ll take you as my wife properly.」

I said, thinking she’d still have to grow up first, and we kissed.

At that moment, brilliant silver wings unfurled from her back.

「Huh, Asama!?」

「Yes. Why the surprise?」

「Of course, I’m surprised!」

Had I just… kissed Asama, too?

「Marrying Anastasia II, who is my earthly vessel, is essentially marrying me.」

「What?!」

「Fufu, I had a feeling from the moment we met that it would come to this. Even I am a woman; I have long wished to know the joy of love and the heart of a mother who bears a child.」

「And that’s why… with me?」

This was way too sudden. Was this the surprise she hinted at?

「Takeru, I may have intended to surprise you, but that look on your face actually hurts a bit. Come now, you’ve already married the Mother of Chaos, so marrying me shouldn’t be a problem at all!」

It feels like there are quite a few problems with that!

「I’m just… a little too shocked, that’s all.」

Never in my wildest dreams did I expect my final bride to be the Goddess of Creation, Asama.

「We shared life and death together in the battle against the Great Demon God. There is no one more fitting as my first marriage partner than you, who came from the same world. I trust in you, Takeru.」

「Alright, I understand. Asama, I shall also take you as my wife!」

After all, since I’m already married to the Mother of Chaos, might as well. I steeled myself.

「Then, since I am both myself and Anastasia, let’s seal it again with another vow of a kiss…」

And so, not only would I become a hero with the world’s largest harem, but I would also be wed to the very beings of this world—the Mother of Chaos and the Goddess of Creation.

The bells of blessing echoed through the grand hall filled with thirty unique brides, plus two divine ones, shining brightly in this surreal fantasy world. Looking up at the painfully beautiful scene, I wondered just how far this path would take me.

If this were a story, it would have ended in a happy ending ages ago, with the last secret level fully cleared.

「Now then, Takeru. The wedding is over, so tonight we shall share our first night together.」

Said Asama, gripping my right hand.

「Asama, that’s not exactly possible in Anastasia’s body!」

「Marriage!」

And on my left, a tentacle from the Mother of Chaos slithered around my hand.

Looks like I’m about to faint again!

This is why a happy ending doesn’t stay that way for me. Resigned, I walked down the wedding aisle, surrounded by a crowd of brides and the cheers of all who came to celebrate.

And so I returned to my lovely, chaotic, love-filled everyday life. Surely, there would be no end to this road.

Because this, after all, is my own story—my real fantasy.