Surviving a Harsh Fantasy with Cheat Items (WN)

Josephine, whom I’d never expected to be useful as an ally, actually turned out to be invaluable in helping dismantle the noble faction in Silesie. Though we had already defeated the major southern aristocrats, the influence of noble families that had ruled the region for 240 years still couldn’t be underestimated.

Many of these nobles, who might yet become opposition forces, continued to operate in the region. To my surprise, Josephine knew the complex, convoluted power structures and critical weaknesses of these nobles inside and out.

She told me she gathered such information so that she’d always have leverage if any ally turned against her. A terrifying woman as an enemy, and equally so as an ally.

Josephine had even commented, ‘Knowing how kind Hero-sama is, I imagine you’d rather not kill the noble families if you don’t have to.’ And she was right. Perhaps it was naive, but I wanted to avoid sowing seeds of regret by crushing opposition through brute force.

That’s where Josephine’s ‘gentler methods’ came into play. With her talents for influencing men, Josephine could be a valuable asset in strengthening Queen Silhouette’s authority.

「But that aside…」

The price I paid to get that beauty potion as a reward for Josephine had been considerable.

「What’s on your mind, Hero-sama?」

The question came from Sister Marea, the Lanct Archbishop, currently seated on the bed and enthusiastically sucking my right finger. It had started as a ceremonial blessing kiss, but now it had turned into full-on licking.

She was a sepia-haired beauty, dressed not in her usual ornate archbishop’s robes, decorated in silver filigree, but a simpler white robe — the kind lay followers wear for light tasks. Somehow, the plainness of the robe only highlighted Marea’s ample curves.

…No, I can’t let my thoughts wander in that direction.

「I should be asking you two what you’re up to, don’t you think?」

Barely managing to keep my composure, I spoke, and Bishop Rosa, blessing my right hand, chimed in.

「Indeed. We’re in the middle of a sacrament ritual, after all, and we need you to stay focused, Hero-sama.」

Rosa, the red-haired, red-eyed bishop who oversaw our royal capital, was here as well. Dressed in a white robe rather than her usual attire, her small, cute figure complemented the outfit perfectly.

「But I told you both — I can’t choose between you.」

Both the Lanct and Silesie churches were under my influence. My actions were no longer just personal matters.

If I sided with one church, it could stir up political issues. So, I couldn’t simply choose one of them as my dedicated sister.

「Hmm, still refusing to choose me? In that case, perhaps it’s time to bestow blessings on your toes. Sister Rosa couldn’t go that far, could she?」

「Ara, does Sister Marea think that’s enough to boast about? You should know blessings belong on far more essential places.」

With a playful finger tickling my throat, Rosa whispered right in my ear.

Please, it’s tickling me—I’m going to die of laughter.

「Both of you, cut it out already.」

Even though I said that, they didn’t listen.

I was trying to get the beauty potion for Josephine as a reward, but suddenly these two showed up, declaring a sacrament contest.

Well, technically, there were three of them.

Behind the two, the child Pope, Anastasia II, was quietly staring at me.

If she was here as a supervisor, I’d appreciate it if she’d stop immediately, but apparently, she was here as a judge for the sacrament contest.

「Well then, Your Holiness Anastasia, don’t you think I’m the more suitable choice?」

「Not at all. I’m obviously more suited to be Hero-sama’s sister, wouldn’t you agree?」

Whether she understood or not, the young Pope tilted her head slightly and murmured, ‘This is quite educational…’

「What kind of education are you getting from this?!」

No, this isn’t about a sacrament contest at all.

「Don’t think this contest will be decided so easily. Next, this will come into play.」

「Ara, Sister Marea, you brought the same kind of oil as well?」

The two of them began to remove my jacket and rub a sweet-smelling oil into my body.

Seriously, this is getting ridiculous.

Although I owe them for the beauty potion, I shouldn’t just let them do whatever they want.

「Fufufu, Rosa is quite thorough, isn’t she?」

「Don’t worry, Hero-sama. This oil is light and won’t make your skin greasy.」

No, that’s not the point I’m trying to make here.

…And just then, Kaara and the others arrived.

「Nation’s Father, the investigation into the northern Demon Kingdom’s territory is complete. Were you in the middle of something enjoyable?」

「No, I wasn’t enjoying it!」

Kaara was still fine, but now even Crown Prince Arche had shown up.

Since this was a guest room in the royal palace, it seemed that visitors could just come in.

Maybe it was a mistake to have hosted the child Pope here in the royal palace.

「Apologies for disturbing your enjoyment, Lord of Chaos!」

Prince Arche shouted and bowed low.

「I wasn’t enjoying anything!」

By chance, the highest officials of the Asama Church and the Crown Prince of the Northern Demon Kingdom were now all in the same room.

It wasn’t exactly hostile, but the atmosphere was certainly awkward.

Despite this, the two sisters surrounding me continued to diligently rub the oil into my body.

What is even happening here?

「Nation’s Father, may I report now?」

「Yeah, I’ve been waiting to hear about it.」

I tried to brush off the sisters and sit up, but they skillfully dodged my attempts, and I failed. At least I managed to sit down, so I’ll take it.

「To get to the point, the chaos disaster in the Northern Demon Kingdom has been resolved.」

「Ah, that’s a relief.」

That was a huge relief.

「The so-called miasma holes have all been sealed. It’s unlikely that any more chaos will erupt.」

「So, it’s like a volcano that’s gone dormant?」

「Yes, that’s correct. However, there have been some unexpected changes.」

「Of course, I figured there would be surprises.」

「Hmm……」

But when I heard the details, I was still shocked.

When Kaara flew over the Northern Demon Kingdom to investigate, the terrain itself had completely changed.

「It’s not just the terrain. There’s been a climate shift, and the geothermal heat in the north has risen sharply. The frozen ground melted, and now everything is covered in green.」

「Is that… safe?」

If the Arctic ice melts, won’t that cause sea levels to rise or something?

「I’m not certain, but since the Northern Demon Kingdom had already been devastated by the chaos disaster, for now, it seems there haven’t been any negative effects from the terrain and climate changes. As for why there’s been no sea level rise—this is just a guess, but…」

Apparently, Kaara speculated that enormous, mysterious green plants had sprouted all over, and they might have absorbed the melting water through their roots.

「I see.」

Well, there’s no point in overthinking what the Mother of Chaos does. For a deity as rough around the edges as the Mother of Chaos, it’s actually a surprisingly considerate outcome.

It seems there were minor issues, like the glaciers melting and causing the ice fortress Crowcassus, which was built on permafrost, to tilt a little, but that’s within acceptable limits. If the north has warmed, it could become viable for agriculture, which would be good news for the surrounding human territories.

「Lord of Chaos, we cannot thank you enough for saving our kingdom.」

「No, it’s Prince Arche who deserves the thanks.」

Though it was actually the Mother of Chaos who acted, not me. Still, it was the prince’s initiative that brought about this change, and he has every reason to be proud of his efforts.

「When I saw the frost-covered land of my kingdom turned green, I almost wept. We will, without fail, reclaim the glory of the Green Kingdom of Greengand!」

As he said this, Prince Arche presented a large chunk of green kingstone in front of me.

「Oh, so much green kingstone.」

「I brought additional offerings for the Lord of Chaos, but this one I felt must be personally presented by me, as a symbol that my kingdom stands united with our lord!」

As he piled the green kingstone in front of me, Prince Arche knelt down deeply once again.

「Prince Arche, we’ll also be counting on the Kingdom of Ice and Snow… or rather, the newly reborn Green Kingdom of Greengand, to join the Eura Continental Alliance.」

「Yes, all according to your will.」

「Also, just so you know, I intend for this to be an equal alliance…」

I wonder if he actually understands that.

「Oh, Lord of Chaos, the mighty one even has a saintess of the Holy Goddess of Creation by his side, I see.」

「No, that’s not…」

Well, seeing it like this, I suppose that’s a fair assumption. But that’s not quite what’s going on here.

「Haha, even if the saintess of the Holy Goddess of Creation tries to draw near, the one who’s entered into a pact with the incarnation of the Mother of Chaos surely belongs to the side of chaos…」

「Such a statement cannot be ignored.」

Anastasia was suddenly getting involved.

「Anastasia, don’t start a fight…」

「This isn’t a fight. Though I have no intention of quarreling with the demons, as per the Asama’s guidance, that last remark cannot be ignored. Did you say that the Mother of Chaos and Takeru have formed a pact?」

「Oh my, it appears the saintesses of the Holy Goddess of Creation were unaware. Lord Sawatari Takeru has recently entered a blessed union with the incarnation of our Mother of Chaos.」

「What!」

Anastasia’s small shoulders shook. I hadn’t thought it was worth mentioning, but it seems this news truly shocked her.

Ah, that’s right; Anastasia does have some trauma from tentacle oneesan. Hearing that I’d made a pact with her must be a bit of a shock.

「Neutral Hero-sama, no—the newly titled Lord of Chaos—has proven himself closer to us demons. As evidence, the Lord of Chaos has saved our kingdom!」

Prince Arche flicked his black cloak dramatically, boasting as if it were his own achievement.

But, seriously, I’m not the one who saved them…

「…I-I’m getting married too!」

「Huh? Did you just say something?」

Prince Arche, who had been laughing heartily, now wore a puzzled expression.

「I said I’m marrying Sawatari Takeru! I, Anastasia II, am the Holy Pope of the Asama Church, the earthly vessel of Asama. This way, we’re equals!」

Anastasia, her face red as an apple, declared this in defiance.

Prince Arche looked over at me, his face saying, ‘What’s this child going on about?’

No, don’t look at me—I’m just as lost as you are.

「Hero-sama, Her Holiness is serious. When Her Majesty, Empress Elizabeth of Germania, declared her intentions to marry you, the law in Papal State of Ravenna was amended to allow Her Holiness to marry as well.」

Sister Marea informed me while rubbing scented oil into my chest.

「Is there anything they won’t allow at this point?」

Sister Rosa, who was applying oil to my back, whispered,

「Indeed, since Empress Eliza is already wed to you, it only makes sense that Her Holiness Anastasia would not be left alone.」

By ‘not be left alone,’ are you referring to that incident from before?

「Ah, that was…」

I mumbled, but my words grew slurred as I tried to speak. I couldn’t manage to get any sound out.

「Fufu, it’s starting to take effect, is it?」

What on earth did Archbishop Marea put in that oil?

「So, Sister Marea added a ‘sacred numbing potion’ to her oil too, did she?」

「Great minds think alike, I suppose.」

Wait—she used the same stuff as Ria? I should have known better than to underestimate the sisters of the Asama Church.

With my last bit of mobility, I blinked to send an S.O.S. to Kaara and the others. Yes, Kaara nodded in response.

「Arche-dono, His Majesty will be occupied here for a while, so perhaps you might step outside…」

「Understood. I shall take my leave.」

No, that’s not what I meant!

I desperately blinked again, but Kaara and the others had already left.

「Well then, shall we begin the main Sacrament Duel?」

Hold on—what even is a ‘main Sacrament Duel’? That was never what the Sacrament was supposed to mean! Don’t just throw tradition out the window!

「Oh my, my heart is pounding just thinking about it.」

These two are completely serious!

At the very least, can someone get Anastasia out of here?

「Your Holiness, watching would be educational too, don’t you think?」

Anastasia nodded happily, as if this was a grand idea.

No, no, this is bad.

「Your Holiness, after our Sacrament Duel, you can try some practical training too, if you’d like.」

Anastasia continued to nod eagerly.

No, no—this is definitely not okay! She’s far too young for this!

「So by ‘too young,’ am I to take it you do intend to marry me?」

The young pope, Anastasia II, with her piercing blue eyes, read my thoughts.

Alright, Anastasia, you’ve got me.

If it’s for today only, I’ll recognize you as my wife, so please, just leave.

What comes next isn’t suitable for children.

「Then, Sawatari Takeru, as your wife, I will say this—」

Yes?

「Nope! I’m not leaving!」

With a playful smile, Anastasia leaned in and kissed me, standing on her tiptoes as I sat on the edge of the bed, held in place by the two sisters.