Surviving a Harsh Fantasy with Cheat Items (WN)

Invading the capital of the Germania Empire, Northmark, was surprisingly easy.

The current imperial city had become a den of rebel forces composed of renegade squads, civilians, and peasants. All it took was stealing a travel permit from the bandit army and disguising oneself as a villager or a bandit. Wearing the attire of a proper regular soldier would be a dead giveaway, so looking suspicious was actually advantageous.

As I entered, I encountered no suspicion. Instead, a soldier with a colorful mohawk helmet, who happened to be one of the gatekeepers, smiled at me and greeted, 「Thanks for your hard work!」 My pass must have been mistaken for that of a high-ranking officer. However, my appearance—cloaked in a soot-stained black robe, carrying an otherworldly magic rifle and a backpack—made me wonder if I stood out more than I realized.

「Hey, what do you think of my current appearance?」

Oracle-chan replied, 「You look like an evil executive.」 which is not exactly the answer I was hoping for.

Then Kaala chimed in, unprompted, 「Nation’s father is quite charming.」 Apparently, Kaala’s sense of charm was a bit off…

Well, for now, I am not Sawatari Takeru, I am Drift Gunner, a wandering black marksman.

As they say, 「Shame on the journey is cast aside.」 Besides, when you think about it, even heroes are filled with plenty of chuunibyou elements, not all that different from evil executives.

-0-

Northmark, the imperial capital, had recently been hailed as the world’s center. The cobblestone streets were sturdy, and the vertical walls that crisscrossed the city stood over three meters tall. However, some sections had crumbled, and the once bustling districts bore the scars of arson. Likely remnants of a coup d’état, a pitiful sight. Nevertheless, workers were diligently repairing the damaged areas, filling them with small stones and securing them with mortar.

Surprisingly, the coup forces seemed to be adequately prepared. Ragged wanderers, who appeared famished, roamed the streets, but unlike the chaotic days of the former capital, Silesie, there were no corpses strewn about and left unattended. Some semblance of order was maintained.

The city’s history traced back to the ancient days of Queen Liliella in the Liliella Holy Queendom. She had erected a massive fortress over twelve hundred years ago as a defense against the northern demon tribes.

Many of the towering spires, the grand imperial citadel, the coliseum, and even parts of the inner walls still bore remnants of structures from Queen Liliella’s era—a time when the old fortress had evolved into the bustling metropolis that now served as the world empire’s capital.

Who would have imagined that it would fall under the dominion of a slave emperor?

Pressed by a beggar child, I reluctantly bestowed a copper coin upon them.

Inquiring about a place to stay, I received a curt response: 「None here.」

「Because you folks burned down the city, we were all driven out. Any sheltered spots have been taken by soldiers…..」

「Understood. My apologies.」

Our ragtag resistance force of around thirty people was often mistaken for the Fist Slave Emperor’s troops.

Well, to a child, it probably made little difference. The city had been razed due to adult decisions, and ultimately, the empire’s decline was partly our responsibility.

Though not everyone could be saved, I shared some dried meat from my pocket with the child.

He devoured it greedily, perhaps fearing it would be taken away. No words of gratitude were offered, but the child seemed content with this small gesture.

「Allow me to guide you closer to the heart of the imperial city.」

Said Zither, disguised as a village girl, as we walked to the central part of the imperial city.

As she led the way, I observed pitiful scenes of displaced people begging for alms. Our irregular attire kept them at bay—afraid to approach us.

Fortunate, perhaps, that even the Fist Slave Emperor’s army resorts to brutality feared by the common folk.

The Germania Empire may not be synonymous with righteousness, but neither is its opposite. War, it seems, remains a constant throughout time.

Once again, at a checkpoint, I encountered a Mohawk-helmeted guard with slightly different feather designs. He nodded and greeted me with a casual 「Thanks for your hard work.」

Though I’m curious about the helmet’s popularity, it’s best to avoid unnecessary trouble.

-0-

Emerging beyond the inner walls, I entered the central square of the city.

There, I caught sight of the towering spires of the imperial castle, surrounded by a moat.

As I approached, the rhythmic beat of large drums echoed through the air. I assumed it was part of some festival.

However, what I witnessed was far more unsettling…..

「That’s a lot of Homo Archbishops!」

A multitude of people, stark naked save for leaves covering their groins, paraded through the streets.

At the forefront, a man beat a large drum known as a 「Tambourine.」

Were these famished commoners performing a bizarre dance? Their emaciated bodies gleamed with wild eyes.

Clutching makeshift weapons—sticks, knives, pot lids—they chanted and danced with unwavering determination.

「Yoisa, yoisa! Yoisa, yoisa!」

「Ejanai ka! Ejanai ka! Ejanai ka! Ejanai ka!」

TN: Those chants in reference to a commotion that happened during the Edo period. It became a popular chant for social reform after that.

The cacophony of the perverted procession assaulted my ears.

Men, women, and children—all stripped bare, adorned only with fig leaves—moved in chaotic harmony, shouting and dancing.

And at the heart of this madness, the festival palanquin bore a naked figure, Archbishop Nicholas, clad solely in fig leaves. His triumphant grin and spittle-flecked shouts filled the air.

「Behold, o great Goddess Asama, may your devoted servants revel in exuberance—iyahoooouuuuu」

Not that again…

The bespectacled archbishop, who would appear scholarly if he remained silent, now delivers a fervent speech with eyes fully glazed over.

Expectant followers chant, 「Nicholas! Nicholas!」 as the crowd’s voltage surges.

How did he survive his dire circumstances and return to the imperial capital, only to form this cult in such a short span?

It’s absurd that a former high-ranking official of the previous regime now leads a popular uprising.

「O devout brethren, lend your ears to this gospel! In the primordial era, when the world was shaped by Asama, Adamo, and Eva, all were naked! No emperor, no nobility, no slaves—only primal beings stood equally bare. Asama declared, ‘Cast off your wicked garments and don a single leaf!’ The time has come to expose the sacred flesh bestowed by Asama to the sun! Believers in Asama, unite in naked equality, where haves and have-nots clasp hands and share all! Ah, you pioneers of faith, the blessings of Asama shower upon you!」

「Ugh, what a nasty speech…」

With arms outstretched and an otherworldly expression, the archbishop’s leaf-clad loins shimmer. The ecstatic crowd sheds their clothes, fueled by heightened enthusiasm.

Despite some collapsing from exhaustion, the fervent masses remain blissfully unaware.

「Her… No, Gunner-sama. Those are Neo-Homotestants.」

「Neo-Homotestants? Not a cult?」

Herman whispers the explanation to me. Thank goodness we’re both in disguise, if the deranged Homo Archbishop incites the enraged mob, we might end up surrounded and killed.

Surrounded by sweaty, burly naked men, death by suffocation would be the worst way to go. I regret my misjudgment, perhaps I should have ensured the certain demise of Archbishop Nicholas rather than Freed.

「Archbishop Nicholas, after being defeated in battle, rallied the Neo-Homotestants with the motto 『Return to primordial origins. 』 Their goal was to revert the world to the era of Adamo and Eva. They call the act of shedding clothes ‘homo test’ and those who pass through this rite are blessed as Homotestants.」

「Clearly a cult, right?」

「Unfortunately, the Asama Church’s Inquisition deemed the Neo-Homotestants orthodox by a majority vote.」

「Are they run by monkeys?」

The Neo-Homotestants’ grand procession veered toward the direction indicated by Archbishop Nicholas, targeting specific trading companies.

As they spilled out into the streets, enraged merchants fell one after another. Hired mercenaries fled when surrounded by the Neo-Homotestants. Sensible, really—who’d willingly face death battling this mass of perverts?

Observing, I noticed wheat and rye sacks from the warehouses being carried by the naked men, chanting 「Soiya! Soiya!」 These provisions were then delivered to the bakeries, which were also looted.

Clearly, they intended to bake bread for the needy.

Ah, yes, everyone would follow this movement. With the Neo-Homotestants, no one would go hungry.

From atop the palanquin, Archbishop Nicholas continued to scream.

「Come forth! Smash open the doors of ill-gotten wealth hoarded by these companies! We, the Neo-Homotestants, will not cease until enough food sustains us today. We will not halt our march unless weary bodies find shelter under roofs. As long as we remain victims of the Empire’s brutal soldiers, our stride shall never falter. Indeed, we shall never cease our march. Until justice, bestowed by Asama, flows like a river and righteousness cascades down like a mighty torrent, our steps shall not waver!」

Indeed, the justification for such massive looting was staggering.

Asama, is this truly acceptable? At this rate, Archbishop Nicholas might become the new Queen Liliella.

「I am well aware that among you today stand those who have overcome immense trials and hardships. Some emerged from cramped prison cells, while others bore the blows of their masters for seeking freedom. There are those who suffered under the Empire’s oppression, stripped of everything. You are a wrathful assembly, united by shared experiences of hunger and suffering. Let us continue our march with the belief that Asama will redeem us from unjust suffering.」

From the looted wheat, baked in the looted bakery’s ovens, fresh bread was distributed to the people.

Archbishop Nicholas, despite his role in inciting the looting, was also a consequence of the wars I fought. We cannot avert our eyes.

This is the terrifying aspect of festivals, Archbishop Nicholas, his face divinely transformed, watched as the emaciated populace received sustenance.

The very organizers of the looting appeared benevolent.

A naked young boy, clad only in leaves, offered water. 「Nectar, nectar.」 he intoned, drinking it reverently. The sacred looter raised his silver ankhs to the sky, continuing to proclaim dreams and ideals.

「I must tell you all, we shall face difficulties today and tomorrow, yet I harbor dreams. Dreams that echo the primordial era witnessed by Adamo and Eva!」

「I dream of a day when, on the red-carpeted floors of the Imperial Hotel’s restaurant, former slave sons and former noble sons sit at the same table, sharing bread as naked brothers.」

「And I dream of a day when the scorching flames of corruption and tyranny transform Northmark into a paradise of freedom and justice.」

「I have a dream. A dream of living in a country where all discrimination is abolished, and individuals are evaluated based on their abilities rather than race or gender.」

Ah, I subtly blended in my own desires at the end there.

Archbishop Nicholas, fists raised, screamed until his voice nearly gave out.

「Today, I have a dream. And now, that dream is coming true. The gates of ill-gotten wealth hoarded by corrupt merchants swing open. A slave, still naked, ascends to the throne as emperor. Today, the deserving—those impoverished—receive ample sustenance! Yes, we are free! Nothing shall hold us back! Oh, I thank Asama. We are unequivocally free!」

As Archbishop Nicholas shouted 「Freedom.」 the ecstatic naked crowd, torches ablaze, reached a climax.

Their cries of 「We’re free!」 and 「Freedom!」 echoed, enveloping the capital in an oppressive heat that even we bystanders couldn’t escape.

On the spot, people shouted Asama’s name, discarded their clothes, and joined the throng. At this rate, the day when the capital becomes a city of leaf-clad Homos draws near.

Asama, isn’t this going too far? Leaving the Homo Archbishop unchecked might turn our real fantasy into a freedom fantasy.

Also, why does the Asama Church endorse this madness in the first place……