I Became the Maid of the Lout Prince

"I'm... garbage."

I'm the kind of trash who would imprison and starve the woman I love, unaware that she’s carrying my child.

Just three months ago, there had been no visible signs. Even though she wore clothing that bared her midriff, there hadn’t been the slightest hint of a belly. I never once considered that she might be carrying my child.

So, when we met again, I naturally assumed she’d met someone after leaving and carried another man's child. That’s why I treated her so harshly, desperate to know who had "defiled" her. I never imagined the child was mine.

After hearing her explanation—that she had wanted to have my child, despite believing we’d never meet again—I now found myself wondering if I could even face her.

‘I’m sorry... Since I thought I’d never see you again, I just wanted to have your child, Young Lord... Even if it didn’t work out, I thought that if I could be lucky enough to bear your child, I could raise it alone, thinking of it as you... If word got out that I, your mistress, bore a child before your official wife, it might cause issues for the Blackwood family... but as long as I had the child before becoming your mistress, it would be just another unrelated lineage... So...’

In the end, this was all my fault. Lilith’s decision to leave Blackwood, her resolve to bear the child on her own without consulting me, and her refusal to reveal the child’s parentage—all of it was because I kept my future plans with her a secret. I caused her distress and made her take drastic measures without ever communicating with her.

I hated myself, repeating the same mistakes, unable to say a word. Even the old me, who had cursed her and our child, disgusted me.

Imprisoning Lilith while she bore my child and denying her food and comfort—ignorance was no excuse for such behavior.

‘...This is truly hopeless.’

Maybe I was too selfish to be with her in the first place. My desire to keep her close had only made her miserable, and I couldn’t even begin to think of how I could make it up to her.

Would taking her as my official wife even make her happy anymore? Was this just my selfishness, clinging to her in a way that would only make her suffer more?