Chapter 1: In my next life?
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Hello. My name is Kai. I'm 17. A dropout. A NEET. And despite what people might assume, there's a strange kind of peace in it all like floating in still water, the world around me muffled and far away. Honestly, I didn't plan for it to turn out this way. No one really does. But now, this is my reality.
I was watching some dumb video online today, one of those "get your life together" montages with dramatic music and flashing images of success. Normally, I'd scroll past, maybe scoff, but something about this one stuck with me. It hit too close to home. Made me think about everything I've done and stuff I've been thinking about for a while. So here I am, writing this. I don't even know why. Maybe I just want someone anyone to understand.
You're probably wondering how I ended up like this. Why I dropped out. Why I chose this path of isolation. To be honest? It's because I hate people. I don't say that lightly. I've tried to like them. I've tried to fit in. But time after time, I learned the same painful lesson: people can't be trusted. They lie. They turn on you. They smile while hiding knives behind their backs. I used to mooch off my parents, yeah. But now they're dead. And with them, a part of me that believed in anything like safety, or home, or family.
All I do now is train and read novels. Those are the two things that keep me sane. Training helps me escape my thoughts. Reading lets me pretend I'm someone else. Both of them started with those 3AM bursts of motivation you know the ones. When the world is quiet and it feels like maybe, just maybe, you can become someone better. Someone admired. Someone strong.
But somewhere along the way, I stopped trying to become better for the real world. I spiraled. Instead of reading self-help books, I drowned myself in light novels. Escapism? Maybe. Probably. But those stories Those fantasies were the only places I ever felt content
I did try, though. After some time, I came out of my shell. I made friends. Went out. Tried to find a girlfriend. All the normal things people say you need to be happy. But it all felt... hollow. Every decision seemed layered with expectation. Choosing to hang out with one friend over another became a game of politics. Saying the wrong thing made people call you fake. And god forbid you have interests that aren't cool enough.
There's one moment that still haunts me. There was this girl unfortunate looking, by most people's standards. But she liked the same novel I did. We connected, even if just a little. I started a conversation with her, genuinely excited. But when my so-called friends saw us, they mocked us both. Her for how she looked. Me for talking to her. I panicked. I laughed with them. Even made a few jokes at her expense, trying to protect myself. Thought it was harmless. Just words.
But she switched schools.