Chapter 178
DEMI
Ten minutes after Ashton drives us to the middle of nowhere, I remain frozen in the passenger seat, watching him pacing a few feet ahead of the car. What the hell is he thinking? Why did he bring me here and why won’t he talk to me? Occasionally, he’d turn to glance at me, like he wants to make sure I’m still in the car.
I have no idea what is going through his mind but if his eyes are any indication, it’s a turmoil in there. With a deep sigh, I unlock the door and march over blades of grass to stand next to him.
"What’s going on, Ashton? Why’d you bring me here?" I ask with my hands crossed over my chest defensively. He turns and the impact of his blue eyes hits me afresh, hard and daunting. Still, I refuse to tear my eyes away. If we’re going to talk, it has to be now.
A small chuckle escapes his lips. "I’ve been wracking my brain for the last ten minutes, trying and failing to understand just what kind of a person you are, Demi Branson. The more I try to figure you out, the more confused I get." Now, the humor drains from his face. In its place, a sudden cloud of sadness hovers. "I’ll admit this once. I have no fucking clue what to believe about you, because I really don’t know you, Demi. At some point, I thought I did, and I was ready to go to bat for you even against my own family. Right now, it’s no longer the same."
The pain in his eyes shatter the wall I spent the last few days building between us. Nervous, I unknowingly take two steps back even when he hasn’t moved towards me.
He doesn’t react to my action but continues with the same intense look in his eyes.
"A lot has happened between our families, between us. I’ve said and done a lot of things that I am not proud of, things that will haunt me forever. You haven’t been a saint yourself but it’s nowhere compared to my own sins and that of my family. Demi, everything that has happened has only made one thing clear; whatever we thought we could become was a lie. Every time I take one step closer to you, you suffer all over again and my world burns."
My heart tightens with a familiar ache.
"I never thought the day would come when I’d be too scared to trust you or to trust myself not to hurt you. This isn’t the man you formed months ago. I’m...broken. I’m a mess and if you don’t keep your distance from my family and I, we’ll only keep tainting you. You know that as well as I do."
"Yes, I do."
He arches his eyebrows at my quick acceptance only to cloak his surprise seconds later.