Chapter 97
ASHLEY
I don’t know how I have been feeling ever since Ashton dropped the bomb on me about Nicola being Shay. I wasn’t entirely surprised by the revelation. Yet, it still hurts to confirm my suspicion. It still stings to know how selfish her love is.
I have given her everything once and it was never enough for her. She wrecked me emotionally and that’s suicidal given my traumatic childhood. She defamed me publicly and left me to crawl my way out of a dank pit of misery and self-loathing.
Foolishly, I let her back into my life after years of therapy and self-branding. I blame my desperation to prove to myself that I am worthy of being loved or at least lusted after.
Nicci has been my longest relationship despite our complications. She knows me better than any other woman I have been with. I know she can be selfish but to be so selfish she didn’t mind using my darkest secret against me is just heartbreaking.
I have been avoiding her calls and wondering how to confront her about everything. I don’t know how I want to handle this. Do I officially end our relationship even if it’ll wreck her right now? She did the same to me and I probably shouldn’t care but deep down, I don’t think I can go through with a break up. It’s partly for Nicci and partly for me because I can’t let go of her when I am still unsure of Demi’s heart.
I think about ghosting her but that seems like a weak move. I want to confront her, hear her admit her heartless betrayal to my face but not today. Today, I just want to forget how much my love life sucks and focus on the one thing I don’t have to beg people’s admiration for; my fashion business.
I am currently working from another spare office because mine is being worked on. I’ve got someone getting rid of the secret door I built for Nicci to sneak into my office years back, to avoid the paparazzi. Now, it’s just going to be a wall.
"Mr. Ashley?" Levon calls my attention for the third time.
"Yes?"
"Your phone’s ringing."