Chapter 81: Fear of Asura: Part 4
"What... I mean I had an insurance, so she must have gotten enough to go to college without much tension. She must have made new friends, people who cared for her, and moved on..." Johan said, his voice filled with uncertainty.
"Isn’t this a bit too optimistic? She loved you so much, she cared for you, and you died to save her, and now she can just move on? Isn’t that a bit... sad?" James said in a composed voice.
"I made the choice of dying. She doesn’t owe me anything. I don’t really want her to be stuck up on the past. It won’t bring me back to life, and I am doing fairly fine... it doesn’t change much." Johan said, narrowing his eyes, trying to figure out what James was trying to say.
"Wouldn’t it have been better if she thought about you daily, cried thinking about you, never smiled, or laughed again, just kept gazing at your pictures... eating bland food, just remembering you..." James’ voice grew lower, but it was extremely loud to Johan.
"No... why would I want her to be sad? Saving her won’t mean anything if she just died inside and became like a living corpse. I don’t want that. Not at all. I want her to be happy, laugh, fall in love, have people around her that take care of her when she is down, eating the best food, laughing, without... ever even thinking of me," Johan said through gritted teeth.
"But... I am you. You’re James. I am James. Or are you Johan?" James’ voice grew sinister, giving an icy feeling to Johan, "I know what you really want. You want her to think of you. Be grateful to you. For the rest of her human life, while you also want to enjoy your life here, and move on from her. You’re disgusting."
Johan felt a chill deep down his spine, his eyes widening with disbelief at how much James had changed in just a moment.
’He is not real. He is not real. I am just tired. He is just an illusion.’ Johan, instead of replying, kept repeating the same sentences in his mind.
"Oh, I am very real. I know everything about you. You should really use that knife, you know. Because an existence as shameful, disgusting as you... shouldn’t exist." James stood up from his seat, walking closer to Johan.