Chapter 386: Confession
"Madame Zedya, I, I don’t, I mean, why, but..." Lennart stammered as he looked into the vampire’s shimmering amethyst eyes. Two desires welled up in his heart, one born of years of service, all but screaming that he should kneel before immediately rejecting the honor that he knew himself to be unworthy of.
But another desire, one he’d long suppressed when engaging with Lady Nyrielle, Madame Zedya, or any of the rulers of the Vale of Mists, came roaring up even stronger. Slowly, with a paw that trembled slightly at the audacity of the gesture he was about to make, he reached out and gently brushed a tear away from the corner of her eye.
Zedya might stand far above him, but tonight, she’d reminded him in more ways than one that she didn’t want to be ’Madame Zedya’ she wanted to be ’Zedya.’ She took his arm when they walked into the restaurant and walked beside him, not in front of him. And now, they ate together in a way that was more like, old friends, than superior and subordinate.
"Zedya," he said gently, forcing himself to discard her title even as he desperately wanted to cling to the comfortable distance that formality brought with it. Quickly, he organized his thoughts and mustered the courage to say what needed to be said.
"Lady Nyrielle chooses people for their unique skills. Sir Thane is a capable knight and commander, Sir Marcell has a vast network of contacts in the human dark market, Sir Ignatious," his voice trailed off as he released a heavy sigh.
"Zedya, I’m a common soldier," Lennart said, hanging his head low. "A common soldier who is past his prime and will soon be irrelevant. I have more experience than the younger soldiers under my command but anyone you bestow your favor on will rapidly accumulate that kind of experience. So, why? Why choose me?"
"Not because of what you can do," Zedya said, looking down at the table and taking a drink from a random cup of wine to distract herself before she continued, though her watery amethyst eyes remained firmly on the remaining artistic morsels on the table. "I’m asking you because everything is changing, but, there’s something that I don’t want to change."
"I would miss you," she said, blinking back the tears that threatened to overwhelm her whenever she thought of continuing their travels without Lennart’s steady, reassuring presence beside her. Her heart had nearly exploded in her chest during the battle for the Tangled Tower when she saw a Golden Eyed soldier’s knife barely miss Lennart’s neck, skittering across his jawbone instead. An inch lower and he might have bled out before anyone could reach him to preserve his life, especially after she’d been so badly wounded in her first clash with Savis.
Memories of that night had haunted her more than once during the trip, and every new conflict, every minor scuffle with a local Eldritch Lord and their elite guards only added to her fears that one day soon, this man would be torn from her world.
"You’d miss me?" Lennart said, cocking his head in confusion. "I still don’t understand. Before me, you traveled with Commander Bassinger and I’m sure there were others before him as well. You’ve seen at least a dozen men like me come and go, so... why do this now? Why me?"
"You don’t understand what time does to us," Zedya said. Carefully, she selected a morsel of lightly pickled cucumber that had been cut into a ribbon and then shaped like a flower beginning to bloom. "Eat this," she said, reaching out with her delicate fingers to offer up the bite directly.