Chapter 214: A Brother’s Dilemma
Diarmuid’s words pressed down on Loman with the weight of thousands, perhaps tens of thousands of lives behind them. Moments ago, he told smiling children to pull up the weeds in the garden like the weeds of darkness that tried to grow in their hearts. Now, he felt like Diarmuid had brought him something worse than weeds to wrap around and pierce his heart as they constricted.
"I resolved myself to stand aside in my brother’s matters," Loman said after several quiet moments. "The scales of justice tip too easily and my finger is too heavy. As his brother, pleading for mercy could be understood. As a priest, condemning his crimes could also be expected. Doing either feels like a betrayal," he said bitterly.
"So you choose to retreat from the struggle rather than suffer the consequences of taking either side?" Diarmuid asked. His voice was unusually gentle for an Inquisitor but he could see the torment on the young priest’s face.
Loman wasn’t a sinner who needed to admit his wrongs, he was a painfully young man who needed help in a moment of crisis. In Diarmuid’s opinion, people who couldn’t tell the difference had no business donning the crimson of the Inquisition.
"Both answers feel wrong," Loman said. "I’ve spoken with my father many times about my brother’s deficiencies. He’s valiant on the battlefield and unbeatable among knights his age. He’s driven to help the family succeed where it has failed before and he’s willing to bear the burdens and the risks that go with his ambitions."
"That sounds like praise more than a deficiency," Diarmuid pointed out. Taking the decanter from the table he poured a fresh cup for Loman and slid it across the table to the young man. "What deficiencies are you concerned with?"
"My brother’s strengths end with what I’ve already said," the young man said. "As a man, he’s a champion of the Light. He might have made a good Templar. If he’d been born the younger brother, I’m sure that he would have done so. But as a Marquis, he’s too lacking."
"I saw a bit of that myself," Diarmuid admitted, thinking back on the days he spent in the wilderness with the young lord. "As a champion, he’s perfect. As a commander, he’s impatient and unsympathetic to the struggles of people who are less capable than he is."
"It goes beyond that," Loman said. "That’s why this matter of my sister-in-law’s murder has weighed on me so heavily. My brother gives vent to his fury too easily. He becomes too lost in the pleasures of the earthly world and loses sight of his path to the Heavenly Shores. If he was just a man, that might be fine. If he couldn’t reach the Heavenly Shores in this life, then his glorious deeds in battle against the demons would surely count for much in his next life."