Chapter 167: Empty Bed
Hours later, Ashlynn woke from barely remembered dreams where she was searching for something important through vast and dark forests. What she’d been searching for, she couldn’t remember and she’d started to wonder if it had even been her dream or a fragment of Nyrielle’s.
The closer they came, the more their hearts beat in unison and the more the thin walls that kept them apart seemed to melt. Not long ago, Nyrielle’s impassive, mask-like expression had troubled her greatly, but now, she found herself able to read the subtle shifts in her lover’s lips and eyes as easily as reading a book. Nyrielle wasn’t unfeeling, but her feelings ran deep and rarely bubbled to the surface.
Even that, however, seemed to be changing. Whether those feelings had always been there or not, Ashlynn couldn’t say. All she knew was that the Nyrielle she spent the night with was more ’alive’ than the one she’d met in the rain on the night of her marriage to Owain.
Now, however, after a night of passion and bliss, she woke to a bed that was disturbingly empty. Her arms and legs wrapped around a large pillow as if she’d been clutching at it for hours. All around her, there were signs of their night of passion - blankets that had been torn when her body was rocked by the waves of pleasure that flowed from Nyrielle’s bite, blood-stained sheets from the moment Nyrielle’s control slipped and she raked her claws along Ashlynn’s back...
The proof of their passion was all around her but the person responsible for it was nowhere to be seen. It was a barrier they had yet to cross. Ashlynn still didn’t have a good understanding of what happened to her lover when the sun rose, only that the sense of presence and connection she felt with Nyrielle became much weaker during daylight hours.
"When will you let me see all of you," Ashlynn whispered, tracing her fingers over the torn bedding. "What haven’t I given you?"
It wasn’t a fair statement but when had feelings ever been fair? She knew that her lover had suffered greatly in the past and the more time they spent together, the more she understood that suffering.
Nyrielle was slowly revealing herself to Ashlynn, especially on this trip. It felt petty to complain that there were still so many things that Nyrielle held back but at the same time... she’d once again woken to an empty bed.
Ashlynn had transformed herself into a creature of the night as much as she ever could. She slept through the morning hours most days and gave her nighttime hours to Nyrielle without reservation whenever she could. She wanted to be part of Nyrielle’s world.
It was just that the reverse was impossible. She could share Nyrielle’s darkness but Nyrielle could never share her daylight. Her mind recognized that this was the way it would always be, but a very human part of her heart wanted things as simple and normal as a morning snuggle followed by breakfast in bed.
"Winter will be different," she reminded herself, throwing back the torn bedding to pad across the cool stone floor into the washroom. Once winter came, the days would be much shorter and most of her waking hours would be spent in darkness. She’d just have to find a way to make the best of their brief time together now and look forward to the long nights that were yet to come.