Chapter 6: EP.6: Determination (18+)
EP.6: Determination
I was masturbating naked in the middle of the living room, as I often did. Initially, following videos was enough to excite me, but other SM videos featuring whipping or exposure no longer interested me. I craved stronger stimulation, so I closed my eyes and imagined various scenarios.
"Ah... Sir Jung-su... Master Jung-su... Please play with me more...
Ah... Sir Il-ho... I'm a perverted masochist..."
Jung-su had become my imaginary master. Their presence had deeply rooted itself in my mind.
I was on all fours, inserting my hand between my legs to stimulate myself. I enjoyed this destructive feeling, sometimes roughly penetrating myself.
However, after receiving the USB drive, I felt a growing sense of dissatisfaction each time I masturbated. I had experienced humiliation and shame beyond my imagination, and my body remembered that reality and fantasy were vastly different.
Jung-su's words echoed in my mind: "Follow your vagina and breasts, not your head." Suddenly, I thought of the address he had sent me.
"No, absolutely not. Am I crazy?"
I startled myself by slapping my cheeks lightly to snap out of it. However, I couldn't shake off the dangerous thoughts and began rationalizing them.
"Maybe I should just go once and get it over with?"