Chapter 178: Two souls, one body
Cass took a second to realise how worked up he was, and how easy it had been for Fiona to get him there. It was completely understandable. He had attempted, naturally or unnaturally, to put a barrier between his emotional state and the hell that was this dungeon.
That hadn’t worked out well for them as soon as they encountered the true nightmare of this room, and Cass learned how fucking devious the demons actually were. He should have known better. The gods hated them, and Cass could only think of two reasons as to why the gods would hate them.
They were either the complete opposite of the gods, or they were just like them. Cass had hoped for the first, but was becoming uncomfortably aware that it was the latter.
"It doesn’t matter." Cass muttered, taking a deep breath and trying to calm himself down. He wasn’t right. He probably wouldn’t be okay until long after they were out of this hellhole of a dungeon, but that was okay. Cass knew that Lord Blackburn had never allowed himself to be not okay around anyone, but Cass was in charge right now.
Yes it was a vulnerability, but it was also a power move. How else had Lady Ava gotten such a deep hold on everyone else? They were all big, bad protectors. Whether she was aware of it or not, she had used her weakness to get them to feel bad for her. Cass, who had been kind of fighting against that narrative was going to lean into it until he was out of this damn fucking dungeon and able to breathe properly.
It wasn’t the worst plan, and hell, if Lucian wanted to carry him around like a princess, or even Fiona, at this point, Cass was just going to take the free ride. He didn’t have the luxury to complain. He’d thought he would have been better than this, had said he would be. He was thankful he was able to use his magic, thanks to Lucian’s lessons, but damn it if he wasn’t pissed at the state of his body.
Cass was going to have to face it when he got out of this dungeon. If Fiona was intent on making sure he was okay before anything else would happen, divorce or otherwise, he needed to focus on making sure he was stable enough that he didn’t cause anyone else to worry. Fiona hadn’t seemed...actually opposed to the divorce, only worried that it would leave Cass without support.
Cass wanted to argue that he couldn’t build support with her around, but he was tired. He didn’t want to argue right now. He’d just gone through an emotional rollercoaster, his body felt ill just being here, Lady Ava, unintentionally or not, made it worse. Cass was hanging on by a thread, and he didn’t have enough pride to not make that obvious.
He was not Lord Blackburn.