Bog Standard Isekai

Valter looked up when he felt a soft hand on his shoulder, hoping it was perhaps a new participant for his event, but it was even better–beautiful Eliza looking at him with her kind and lovely smile.

“I’m sorry the Tower Festival isn’t going how you wished,” she said.

How did she know? Did he look sad? He was doing his best not to mope, because that would certainly not serve to entice anyone into the great and noble game of Ten-pin Alleyball.

He straightened his kerchief. “Oh, you’re kind, but I think it’s going well! It’s not attracting as much attention from the older generation as I would hope, but to make a sport popular, you have to start them when they’re young. Yes… yes this is exactly how today should be going!”

He spoke with such adventurous vigor that he half convinced himself, but of course strawberry haired Eliza with her violet-painted lips just looked at him again with that sad smile to prove that she could see right through him.

As a matter of fact, the day was a disaster. Even worse than last year. Last year, an even dozen other classmates had rolled a round or two just to humor him. Today, not a single fellow mage of the Tower had come to see his court. Six commoner children were playing on two of the ten lanes, and they couldn’t be bothered to learn the rules, and they were scuffing the polish by walking past the foul line. He ached to chase them away but held his tongue. He didn’t want to appear ungenerous in front of Eliza.

There was a nice clacking crash as one of the commoner children knocked all of the pins down, and Valter looked up with a smile on his face to see the children actually taking his game seriously.

“It’s too easy, mister!” said the boy who’d scored the strike. “If I can do that once, then my pa can do it every time!”

Valter bit off the cutting reply, but he wanted to say that it wasn’t that easy at all! Getting a perfect game was something only experienced players could do, and they couldn’t reliably do it every time. And then there was the novelty of changing the arrangement of pins! To get a strike when your opponent set up the pins was a feat that required mathematical precision and a keen instinct for physical inertia. Truly the game of a gentleman. Why couldn’t anyone understand?

“It’s that damn [Illusionist] show that’s the problem,” said Valter, before he realized he was talking. Foolish! Now he would appear to be envious! What would Eliza think of him?

She nodded. “It’s quite exciting. Have you seen much of it at all? I like the–” she cut off.

Valter realized he’d begun to frown, and quickly turned it into an easy smile. “Oh, do go on!”

“No, I was being rude.”

“No, Eliza, I am at fault. You alone out of everyone have come to support my life’s passion, and I am being a lout. Please, tell me about the show,” said Valter.

“Well–” she began, but then a loud blast echoed throughout the room, startling even the rambunctious commoner children to silence.

Valter winced, and Eliza giggled at him.

He pretended to chuckle along, but on the inside, he was fuming. Brin the Mistaken had made a terrible enemy this day.

He meant it, too. He was no weakling. He was a level 26 [Mage of Earth], at only nineteen years old. If he wanted to, he could launch one of his ceramic balls with such force as to completely shatter all of the pins at the end of the line. He would never, of course. He respected the game too much. But he got a certain pleasure out of imagining his ball plunging through all the flickering flames and flimsy glass that a certain scarred first year had summoned, to smack in right on the forehead. He chuckled, pretending to be laughing at the antics of the children.

There was another explosion. They were getting closer. He heard a bit of shouting. They were very close.

“Easterling!” came a shout. “Air Team, shields! Water Team, get that orb-wielder!”

Valter snorted. "Easterlings again. I thought they wrapped up the Easterling storyline with the death of that [Pirate].”

“You think he’s dead? I bet we’ll see him in the sequel. And I thought you weren’t watching it?” asked Eliza.

She had him there, so with a guilty smile, Valter stepped to the window and pulled a curtain aside. From here, they could just make out the projection screen of the [Illusionists] that floated above the maze garden.

For a moment, they stood side by side, watching the show. It wasn’t Alleyball, but perhaps this was nice, too.

“They still have one last hurrah, I think. That [Knight of the Green Mother] is setting up an ambush on the fifth floor,” said Valter.

“You don’t think Brin will see it coming?” asked Eliza.

Valter raised an eyebrow at her.

“Oh, yes, I know it’s all a show. But how do you think they’ll explain the fact that Brin is heading for an obvious trap?” asked Eliza.

Valter tapped his chin. “The Joy Shrouded are playing on the stairs and the elevator shafts. Brin won’t scale the outside, because he’s pretending he needs to protect the audience below. There’s only one other way down to the atrium now.” Some of the Sorrow Shrouded had chained themselves together like an awful worm and eaten their way through the Tower, forming a long tunnel through wall, floor, and ceiling alike. Brin was currently following the path they’d made down the Tower. “I think that’s what irritates me. The fact that they keep bringing regular people into it. I dislike audience participation. A show should just be a show.”

“Oh? I rather hope I get to be a part of it. Look! They’re coming this way!” said Eliza, pointing at the screen.

He watched as the screen panned from a view outside the Tower, watching the rumbling chains of explosion as Brin and his merry band fought their way across the floor he was on. The door banged open, and at last, he saw a crowd of students had come to see his Ten-pin Alleyball. But when he approached to welcome them, they walked right past him to the windows, trying to see if the action was visible from their angle.

Before he could scold them, an explosion shook the room, and out of nowhere, the entire corner and half the wall was gone–or so it appeared. It was hard to remember that this was an illusion with the way the Tower now seemed so open to a fatal fall, or the incredible loudness. He’d seen other spectators wince in pain or shock when the show came too close to them and he’d assumed they were just hamming it up for the screens. But no, it was painfully loud.

Valter would have a word with someone when this was over. He might not be the son of an [Archmage], but the voice of a level 26 [Mage of Earth] was not easily ignored!

“Rhun! Protect those children!” shouted Lord Brin the Mistaken, always playing the hero. A confusing hero, to say the least. It was clear that his part was written as the villain, a foil to Vitor, but he kept going off script and taking all the hero parts. And they were letting him get away with it, too, probably because of the same sort of nepotism that had cast him in this role in the first place.

“On it!” shouted Rhun, the [Protecting Knight]. Another sign that this was clearly fake. Did they really expect him to believe that a real [Knight] would be that handsome? This man was obviously an actor.

Fire and Earth [Mages] were flinging a furious assortment of explosive spells as an Easterling assault, but a new type of Easterling was able to redirect one spell of three, which meant that the [Mages] were forced to block their own attacks. The [Fire Mages] were more apt to detonate the spells early, making a dazzling display that was just perfect for the [Illusionists] eyes, he was sure.

Rhun, the “Knight” launched himself in front of the children, shielding them from shrapnel with a glass shield that conveniently grew itself to the exact right size to guard them all. “[Air Mages], to me!”

The students who’d come to watch broke out into applause and cheering.

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“Will you idiots get out of here! This isn’t a game!” Brin snapped, but his attention was forced away when a trio of rabid red Shrouded climbed up from the edge of the building. “Vitor! Marksi!”

The [Thirsty Blade] flew into action with a glimmering dragonling right behind him, but rather than help them, Brin suddenly gasped at yet another distraction. The [Air Mages] were over-eager in shielding a concussive blast, and had knocked that big gemstone out of that blonde girl's control.

“Sancha!” Brin yelled out, panicked, and Valter understood the sentiment. His heart belonged to Eliza alone, of course, but the blonde, who must be Sancha, was a looker, and that red dress was positively sensuous. Nearly a scandal. But of course, he hardly noticed.

Only, Brin hadn’t been panicked by the girl; he was more worried about the enormous gemstone she’d been carefully cradling with her magic, now flying through the air.

Sancha dove forwards, wand-arm outstretched, and though she landed on her stomach, she caught the gemstone with her magic at the last possible moment, a bare inch from the ground.

Too quick, an Anger Shrouded charged her. Ares, the [Mage of Sparks], stepped in front of her, and instead of the quick bolt of lightning like they’d seen from him so far, he shouted in fury and pain and created a continuous stream of glowing electricity between his two hands. The Red Shrouded leapt onto him, and Ares used the stream of lightning to slice it in half, separating it into two splashes of water on either side.

“Anshar’s Bloody Justice, Brin! That was too close! You never should’ve let her come with us!” Ares shouted. At first, Valter had quite liked Ares for his humor and quick wit, but he’d grown increasingly bitter and resentful over the last hour of the program.

From where he fought, Vitor shouted, “He’s right! None of us should’ve come down here. We should have kept the Grand Focus where it was hidden, and protected it there!”

Vitor had voiced this particular complaint even more often that Ares’ objections about Sancha’s safety, and Brin was looking to be rather sick of it. “Focus on your fight, moron, and leave the thinking to the people with actual brains!”

“It is well, Ares! I offered myself for this!” cried Sancha and she struggled to rise with one arm outstretched to hold the gem in place with her magic.

“It is not well, silly, sulphurous, splendid Sancha.” He reached down and helped her up with one hand. He blinked in confusion at her after she got to her feet and pulled her hand back, drawing away. “He never should have put you in harm's way. I know you wanted this, but even so. I’ll never forgive him if–”

On his way to another disaster, Brin pushed Sancha from behind, knocking her into Ares. She squeaked in alarm, then gave him an intense, smoldering look. Ares put an arm around her waist to pull her tight, and she pressed a hand against his chest, though the other was still outstretched, holding the gem with her magic.

Ares laughed. “Oh! Brin, you’re a right mad idiot, and I love you for it! My friend, I’ll follow you anywhere!”

“Good to know!” shouted Brin, now locked in combat with a needle-throwing Envy Shroud.

Ares forcefully kissed Sancha and then pushed her away and then struck down Brin’s opponent with a blast of lightning, and then destroyed two others. “Zip, zap, pow! And… oops. Mana!”

“Mana here!” shouted Sion the [Merchant], and ran towards Ares with a bottle in his hand.

Valter didn’t like the sudden shift in Ares’ attitude. A single touch from a woman shouldn’t alter a man’s personality so easily! It was… well, it was unmanly! He remembered Eliza again, and slowly edged his way towards her. What if, in all the excitement, he were to “accidentally” grab her hand. Well, it would only be natural, wouldn’t it not?

Valter’s gaze was brought back to Brin as he and that raven-haired beauty were fighting Shrouded back to back. There didn’t seem to be an end to the things!

This gang of four Easterlings were gray, and Valter hadn’t caught what emotion that represented. The [Hunter] fired one of his special arrows at them, full of “Color Poison” as if such a thing could really exist, and this time instead of destroying the Shrouded in one hit, the arrow simply broke against the monster.

Brin hardly noticed that his ace-in-the-hole had been negated, because he was caught up in some new drama with his girlfriend. Lady Bia of Guven wore a fetching bandana in her raven hair, and pants. Valter couldn’t condone a woman wearing pants all the time, but he could understand why Brin was so taken with the style.

“I can’t believe you left her behind!” the beauty shouted.

“Bedelia served her purpose. Now serve yours!” Brin pointed towards an oncoming gray Shrouded, and the woman growled in frustration, but did as she was ordered.

These new grays were as fierce as Anger Shrouded and liked to claw rather than punch. Bia was quicker, though. She used one slashing claw as a foot-hold, as if the beast were sitting still compared to her, and jumped past it. Only after she was ten feet behind it, did a spray of water reveal she had slashed its throat.

It wasn’t enough to kill the monster immediately, though. It charged past her and in its final burst of energy, tore its claw straight through Brin’s middle.

Brin exploded into shards of glass, and then a glass warhammer smashed the Shrouded’s head. Brin stepped into the light, revealing that the previous “him” had been nothing but a glass decoy.

“She was hurt! She might be dead right now! And you didn’t even say goodbye. All she wanted was for you to tell her she did a good job!” said Bia, rapidly dodging the quick claws of two Shrouded.

“Then she should have done a good job!” roared Brin.

A lucky hit spun the woman around, pushing her straight into Brin where she caught himself against his chest. “She was a person. Practically part of your family.”

Brin put his arm around her, a hand on the small of her back as if they were dancing. Valter wondered if Brin was about to copy Ares’ move from earlier, but she pushed away from him. The motion moved him into a Shrouded, and again, he was shattered.

“She was a servant,” Brin said as he reformed. “Back me up, here, Jeeves.”

Valter liked the Shadow Elemental named Jeeves. He wasn’t entirely human, but even so, that was what a man should be like. Silent, stern, and unfailingly capable. His black saber cut down the Easterlings faster and easier than anyone except for Vitor.

“My apologies, young master, but I cannot. Bedelia… Bedelia is… oh, Amy…” His voice cracked with grief, and maybe this was a good time…?

Valter grabbed Eliza’s hand, and she didn’t pull away. Instead, she looked at him with watery eyes, sharing in his sympathy for Jeeve’s sorrow. Success!

Valter’s success was short-lived. A sticky black Guilt Shrouded slapped an [Earth Mage’s] stone spike out of the air and into the ground near Valter’s feet. He and Eliza were completely unharmed, of course, but the shock of it landing so close had Eliza stumbling backwards. Valter lost grip on her hand when she tripped over the gutter of the Alleyball lane, and she slid a couple feet across the slick waxed wood.

Valter managed to keep himself from laughing at her flight, but before he could render aid, an errant fire spell struck her. A competent [Air Mage] in her own right, Eliza deflected it right in time, but the force sent her across the last lane and through the gaping hole in the wall.

His heart leapt, forgetting for a moment that this was all a show.

That handsome [Knight], Rhun, suddenly moved in a blur. He tossed his shield to the side and then cast himself off the edge of the Tower, catching Eliza in the air. He raised his hand, and a vine from a [Life Mage] grew down from a wooden beam above to catch him just in time. With Eliza held in one arm, Rhun swung around the edge of the Tower in a long arc before finally setting down the other side of the Alleyball court.

“I told you idiots to get out of here!” shouted Brin.

Valter ignored him. He couldn’t miss the flush in Eliza’s face, or the way she leaned against her hero’s strong armored chest even after he’d set her down safely. He witnessed the admiration in her eyes when Rhun separated himself from her, nudging her arms away.

That was all completely unnecessary. This was why he hated audience participation.

“Now listen to me!” shouted a squeaky, nasally voice. It was that [Mage of Creeping Things], Guoncal. “I have detected a new weakness in the Easterling physiology!”

The Easterlings shouted in their rough, clicking voices, and then disengaged from their pitched battle with the Earth and Fire [Mages]. Then all the Shrouded, except for the battle-lusted reds, saw that the numbers weren’t on their side any longer and fled as well.

Vitor and Jeeves mopped up the last of the Anger Shrouded, and at last peace was restored to Valter’s kingdom. He sighed in relief.

“So what was the weakness?” asked Brin.

“The weakness is… that the Easterlings are starting to fear me,” said Guoncal, and then released a terrible laugh.

Brin laughed along. “Great thinking!” He held up a hand for a high-five, which Guoncal returned after a long delay, perhaps not understanding the gesture at first.

“Excellent work, my friend,” said Sion the [Merchant], patting him on the back. “A very clever ploy!”

Guoncal preened under the praise, and then remembered he hated Brin and stared daggers at his back.

To Valter’s relief, the show moved on quickly after that. More drama ensued as Brin tried to make up with Bia, but completely failed to understand why she was upset with him. Servants and commoners were people, too! How could he miss that?

Valter had to catch the last part of their conversation by watching the projections below again, and when he caught himself doing it, he stopped and marched back across the room. He wasn’t interested! That program was nothing. Ten-pin Alleyball, that was what was important here! And his court had been in the big [Illusionist] show. The entire city had seen it. That had to be worth something, right?

He looked around for Eliza, but she’d followed the crowd of gawkers downstairs.

Valter clenched his jaw. Brin the Mistaken had made a powerful enemy this d–

“Hey, I wanted to ask. Is this a bowling alley? The Tower really has everything!”

Valter turned to see that the speaker was none other than Brin the Mistaken.

“Bowling? What a brutish name. The great and noble game is called Ten-pin Alleyball!” Valter pushed out his chest.

“And can anyone play? Or do I need to apply to join a club?” asked Brin.

Valter stood among the illusory ash and wreckage, dumbfounded. “Anyone can play. We can entertain as many as forty at once.”

“Only forty? Do you have, like, a schedule, or…?”

“I have some literature, yes!” said Valter, and gave the young Lord the pamphlet he’d prepared.

“Thanks so much! But I really should get back to the fight,” said Brin, and soon left Valter alone again.

Valter stared at the wrecked Alleyball court. Any second now, the [Illusionists] would release their spell and return it to how it was. Any second now.

Only, now that the excitement was over, he was starting to remember some alarming details. Eliza really had swung all the way across the room with Rhun. And the magic. He’d felt the Earth magic. Some of that show had been real.

He nudged a boulder with his foot, and felt resistance. Real. It was real. Not just the gravel covering his polished alleys. All of it had been real. They’d ruined the entire room.

Valter raised his fist and shouted after the departed lordling. “You’ve made a powerful enemy this day, Brin the Mistaken!”