Bog Standard Isekai

“I have duties, you know,” said Sion. “I can’t simply pack up and leave simply because an old friend asks me to. An old, long-forgotten, friend who disappears for ages without warning, with no word on where he’s been–”

“I know you got my letters,” said Brin. He could only give Sion half his attention, because the rest of it was consumed with the unbelievably delicious assortment of pastries and cookies Sion had set out for him. He took a bite of raspberry tart and hummed in pleasure.

“Short letters which said little except for what I think were contrivances, not to be believed. Would you really have me think that you meekly sat in a monastery for months, waiting for your curse to go away?” asked Sion.

“I literally did exactly that,” said Brin. “Oh, mm. MM! How did they get this lemon frosting so lemony? This is the lemonest thing I’ve ever tasted.”

“Truly?”

“Mm,” said Brin. “So lemony.”

“I meant about the monastery,” said Sion.

Rhun was also sitting with them, though he looked supremely uncomfortable in the refined setting. “He’s telling the truth.”

Sion looked back at Brin. “Is that why you’re so enthusiastic about the refreshments?”

Brin let the next bite of lemon pastry pause outside his mouth. “Sion, I have not tasted anything near this good since the last time you hosted me back in Blackcliff.”

They were at the Wogan estates near Aberquay, the home seat of Sion’s family’s mercantile enterprise. He’d expected a manor house and a copy of Glyn’s effortless splendor, but the Wogan main family was much more grand. Rather than a house, the Wogan estate was better called a company town, with thousands of workers and their families all working in Wogan businesses and living in Wogan houses. The main family themselves had several houses around the town, and Sion lived in the top floor penthouse of one of their factories.

The trip here had been rather uneventful. He still hadn’t worn out the novelty of being out of the monastery and seeing new things and new places again, but the trip hadn’t been quite as fun as he’d hoped. He’d pictured himself using Invisible Eyes to search the landscape for any bands of goblins that he and Rhun could destroy. He’d daydreamed about him and Rhun arriving just in the nick of time to same a damsel in distress or two. Sadly, his Invisible Eyes hadn’t seen a single speck of trouble.

The political uncertainty in the country had actually made things safer for the common man. Huge bands of soldiers were marching back and forth across the country, and all of them were eager to prove to the masses that they were the true men, that they were the ones with the best interests of Prinnash at heart. All of them were positively ravenous for any chance to slay goblins. At least, small bands of goblins. The western edge of the kingdom was still under control of the Easterling and goblin hordes, and Brin had no idea what that looked like. Everyone had a different story about what was going on in the west, and most of the stories contradicted each other.

He’d also worried that his fame would land him in trouble, since the Order of the Long Sleep was banned from Prinnash, but no one was looking to start a fight with knights-at-arms. Brin had simply refrained from telling anyone the name of his Order, and no one had asked.

So it had been a simple trip. Rhun was good enough company and the days had passed pleasantly. They’d come to Aberquay first, so that Rhun could return to his contract and Brin could ask Sion for advice on the rest of the journey.

“That’s all beside the point. The point is, I have duties here. I can’t simply run off the Steamshield just because you ask,” said Sion. This was about the fourth time Sion had told him that, which was funny because Brin had never asked him to in the first place.

“I understand, man. You have responsibilities, and I know what you do is really important. I wouldn’t try to pull you away from what you think is right,” said Brin.

Sion wagged a finger. “Ha! So you say! Don’t think I don’t know what you’re doing! You’re trying to trick me into it. Well, I can’t leave. My life is here with my family.”

Brin took a chance on a carton of yoghurt and… score! It wasn’t fish or pork flavored. It was nutty and sweet, like honeyed cashews. Delicious. “What are you up to lately, anyway?”

“Truly important work. Work which I am surely humbled and honored to participate in. You have heard that our honorable [King] Johan has lent his support to my family’s scheme to create a ‘People’s Council’, which will rule alongside the current council of High Lords,” said Sion.

“No, I hadn’t heard that,” said Brin. His stomach was starting to hurt a bit from being too full, but there were still some cookies he hadn’t tried. “I think I’m going to try to get fat like Marksi. Actually, is high or low Vitality better for getting fat?”

Marksi glared at him from where he had one arm inside a huge bag of candied grasshoppers.

“What? Don’t look at me like that. You know that’s not all muscle.”

Sion cleared his throat.

“Sorry. But no, I hadn’t heard. Last I heard, the [Merchants] completely controlled the High Council, so I have no idea why you’d want a new one,” said Brin.

Rhun piped up. “It happened while you were cloistered. High Lord Robat expelled all the High Lords who have ownership in [Merchant] houses from the council–”

“That was completely illegal and unprecedented, I might add,” interrupted Sion. Rhun kept his hands in fists on his knees, perhaps to keep himself from grabbing any of the treats on display, but he made no sign of being offended at Sion’s interruption. Brin wondered if that had been a test.

Sion continued, “It’s an explosive situation, but one full of opportunity for the houses that seize the chance to step up. Where my days used to be filled with buying and selling, transportation and production, I now find myself playing the political game. I use my Class and Skills to distribute pamphlets, hire persuaders, and bribe judges. It’s ah, definitely a very important and very different kind of work.”

Brin bit into a cookie. Big mistake; he was too full. But it was so, so good. “And you’re saying you’re having so much fun doing that kind of stuff that you couldn’t possibly leave.”

“Is that what I am saying? Please listen closely to what I’m saying. I’m speaking very carefully, so that I will be able to swear to my family’s truth-tellers that I strove to make you see reason. You say I’m having fun? What could fun possibly have to do with it? Why, I have been so focused on my very important duty, I haven’t spared a single thought as to whether or not I enjoy it or not. Definitely not. What a strange idea. Fun? No, no I don’t recognize the word.”

If you spot this narrative on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

Brin pushed a tin of cookies towards Rhun. “Seriously, try one of these.”

Rhun tentatively took one and bit into it, looking nervously at Sion to see if he’d object to him acting like a guest when he was supposed to be a bodyguard. Sion didn’t seem to notice, and Rhun finished the cookie and grabbed another.

“I think…” Brin brought up a hand to cover a burp.

“What’s this my friend? I sense you have a strong objection. Or perhaps… a heartfelt plea?” Sion said hopefully.

Brin laughed. He knew what Sion wanted him to say, so he might as well play along. “One of each, I should think, although I must apologize in advance for my sheer audacity. Prepare yourself: What I’m about to ask will shock you.”

“Apology not accepted! How dare you strongly object to my idea of staying here. How dare you demand that I join you in Steamshield?” asked Sion.

“No, that was going to be my heartfelt plea. My strong objection is to the idea that all the best business opportunities are here in Prinnash. The economy of Prinnash is in shambles right now, and it’s only goodwill and national pride that’s keeping everyone from starving to death. Frenaria, on the other hand, is stable. Shouldn’t your family send someone there to make a foothold in the one country that’s actually functioning? As a fallback option, if nothing else. And, oh my, but this just occurred to me, but wouldn’t that have to be you? You’ve already done business in Frenaria, after all.”

Sion rubbed his chin. “But my uncle Glyn…”

“Is in Blackcliff. You need someone in Steamshield, the capital,” said Brin.

“Coincidentally, I’ve always wanted to see Steamshield,” said Sion.

“Is that so?”

“It is.”

“Sion, you must come with me to Steamshield, please. I’m completely lost without you. I have all this money to spend on components and equipment for the Tower, but the Frenarian [Merchants], they’ll cheat me if you’re not there. And I made an investment that just yielded, but how will I reinvest all that money without you?”

Sion looked conflicted. “This is your heartfelt plea?”

“It is. Oh! And Hogg! The Wogan family’s newest business partner will be in Steamshield. Will you really leave him without a liaison? I thought you ran a reputable business here!”

Sion seemed pleased by the last argument. “Oh, my friend, how could you? To tear me away from my duties like this! It’s as if my very heart were being torn in two. Alas! I couldn’t possibly prepare everything in time for my departure even if you gave me two weeks!”

Brin mentally did the math. Yeah, two weeks would be tight, but he’d arrive at the Tower in time. He nodded and opened his mouth, but Sion gave him a look of intense panic.

“Um… no. It has to be today?”

“Today? Egad! At this rate, I won’t be able to beg permission from my honored father! I’ll have to leave at once, and beg for his forgiveness in letters after I’ve already departed,” said Sion.

“It has to be today,” Brin said with a nod.

“Then I must pack! Who could’ve possibly foreseen this?” said Sion. He made no move to run from the couch where he was seated and swirled the glass of water that he’d been nursing since Brin walked in.

“You’re already packed, aren’t you?” asked Brin.

“Ah yes, a coincidence, or whatever,” said Sion. He suddenly sat up straight. “Oh, that reminds me!” He clapped twice.

A woman in servant’s clothing entered with a covered tray. She set it down on the coffee table, needing to remove a few empty plates to make room. She took off the lid from the tray and revealed a dozen perfect American-style chocolate chip cookies.

Brin’s eyes went wide and he grabbed one. It was still hot from the oven. Crispy on the outside, gooey on the inside, and absolutely perfect. His stomach was already in full revolt from being too full, but Brin was already used to accepting the pain of his body in the pursuit of righteous goals.

“Ha! Do you see? They aren’t even cooked through all the way. This is what happens when you trifle with the friendship of a [Merchant] of Prinnash.”

“I have a lot to apologize for,” said Brin, reaching for another cookie.

“Indeed you do. Not only do you demand I come away with you to Steamshield, but you also drop a highly valuable and capable [Knight] into my lap as my defender,” said Sion.

Rhun snapped his hand back away from the third cookie he’d been reaching for and sat ramrod straight. “He had nothing to do with it. I came on my own accord. I made an agreement, and I will see it fulfilled.”

“Sir, you honor me, truly, but a contract that can’t be enforced is no contract at all. I never would have tried to force you to return to guarding me, when the reason that you left was to defend our fair nation,” said Sion.

“I made a promise,” Rhun insisted.

“Sir, no one would see it that way,” said Sion.

“I see it that way. I made an agreement.”

“How could I possibly hold you to that agreement? I can’t. If you wish to sign a new contract, I’ll gladly hire you again, but at a rate based on your new levels and Class,” said Sion.

“I may take you up on that, but only after fulfilling my original obligation.”

“Sir, you are too generous by far,” said Sion.

Rhun smirked a bit and looked at Brin, who chuckled and shook his head. Brin had warned him about how Sion would react, and he’d primed him a bit on what to say. “First off, I don’t see the need for all this extra formality. If Brin isn’t ‘sir’, then neither am I, at least not in private or outside of Prinnash.”

Sion actually gasped. Brin wondered if he’d ever seen Sion look this surprised before.

Rhun continued. “I know all about what you did for us in Canibri, and I was there when you helped equip us in Arcaena. I won’t hear ‘yes sir’ ‘no sir’ from my benefactor.”

“But, sir, I–”

“And another thing! Just because I am in your debt, I will not have you besmirch my honor. I am a true man of Prinnash. Am I not?”

“Sir, no one is saying you’re not a true man,” said Sion. “Right Brin? Marksi?”

Brin’s mouth was full, and Marksi shrugged as if to say that he thought someone might’ve actually said that.

“Then why will you not give me the opportunity to keep my word? You’ve done much for me already. Give me one more favor and allow me this,” said Rhun.

Sion stood, gazing down at Rhun with an uncharacteristically serious look on his face. Finally, he held out his hand. Rhun stood, and they shook on it.

“You will not regret this. That’s a Wogan guarantee,” said Sion.

“I will not. Shall I guard the door?” asked Rhun.

“No, stay, we should discuss our escape from here. And please, help yourself to any of the offerings that Brin has left behind. Truly Brin, and I ask this out of awed admiration, but where are you putting it all?”

“Ha. Ha ha,” said Brin weakly. He’d been over the top about three cookies ago, and now he wasn’t sure if he’d be able to hold it all down.

It only got worse when he had to stand and start moving again. Sion had a big wagon full of inventory. It was the size of a modular home and had to be pulled by a team of four magically enhanced horses. He’d clearly been planning this for a while from the way that the wagon was ready to go, and the way that it was hidden in an old shed with ivy covering the doors.

“I’ll have to leave this behind,” said Sion.

“Don’t be silly, we’re not going to leave it behind,” said Brin.

“It’s not that I don’t wish to bring it, I truly would, but I think haste is more important in this case. It’s not that my family will try to chase us down, not exactly, but I fear that departing the neighborhood with my net worth in treasure might draw questions. Questions that had better be left off for a later date. We’ll take your quick horses and one of my own, traveling with only what we can carry in our saddle bags. Or perhaps less than that! We won’t want to weigh them down, and yes, I’ve always dreamed of roughing it. Living off the land…” said Sion.

“Why? Do you expect we will be pursued? I should warn you that these mounts are not our warhorses. They’re traveling horses,” said Rhun.

“Pursued? No, no. Why pursued? I only think that my family may be curious as to where I’m going, and I’d like to spare us all a long and tedious conversation. As long as our horses are faster than their dogs, we’ll be fine,” said Sion.

“I’m not sure I follow,” said Rhun.

Brin said, “If you’re working for a Prinnashian [Merchant] again then you’ll have to learn to speak their language. Sion doesn’t want to be part of his family’s [Merchant] revolution, but he’s too valuable for them to let him go easily. They’re definitely going to send a team to run him down, with [Hunters] and, apparently, dogs. Also, he’s not willing to leave without the wagon; you can tell because the first thing he said when we came in here is that he’s willing to leave without the wagon.”

Sion chuckled and rolled his eyes, but didn’t argue with Brin’s assessment.

“So this is what we’re going to do…”