Chapter 105: Unnecessary Emotions
TL: Aniea
“Shall I help you?”
“No, it's okay.”
Kim Eun-ha immediately rejected Kang Han-na's offer. At that, Kang Han-na asked again with a slightly awkward expression.
"Really?"
“Yeah. I’ll take care of my own work.”
“Hmmm. That’s quite unexpected. Did you perhaps anticipate what I was thinking and flip the situation on me? If that’s the case, there’s no need to turn me down....”
“That’s not it.”
Kim Eun-ha shook her head firmly once again. There wasn’t a trace of hesitation or wavering on her face.
“Th-then why...?”
As the situation shifted, it was Kang Han-na who became flustered. When her expectations missed the mark, her once firm confidence began to noticeably crumble.
Her shoulders shrank, and her trembling eyes subtly avoided Kim Eun-ha’s gaze.
Since it was confidence she had borrowed from others to begin with, it was extremely vulnerable to external variables.
Smile-
Watching this quietly, Kim Eun-ha lifted the corner of her lips slightly and replied.
“Certainly, separate from your acting skills, your analytical ability and profiling skills are enough to give someone goosebumps. If Sherlock Holmes were a real person, he might feel like this.”
“...You're flattering me.”
“I mean it. Your prediction was accurate. I usually prefer to make use of others' goodwill rather than reject it. There's no reason to refuse an offer like that.”
That was true until recently, at least.
When Kim Eun-ha added that last part,
Kang Han-na’s eyes widened.
“Hehe. Looks like the version of me in your head hasn't been updated yet. Well, if you kept up in real-time, that would be scary in its own way.”
“...Oh my god.”
Kang Han-na covered her mouth with both hands in shock. Since she understood Kim Eun-ha better than anyone, she couldn’t possibly miss how much of a change her words represented.
“Want me to tell you an interesting story? One time, Woo-ju ssi was staring blankly at a panel of Seo Jun-woo hanging in front of the department store. Anyone could see that look in his eyes was envy.”
“Oppa did?”
“Yeah. Back then, he was completely unknown. He was so deeply focused that he didn’t even notice me coming up next to him and just kept staring blankly at the panel.”
Even now, when Kang Woo-ju becomes completely absorbed in something, he doesn’t notice anyone passing by him at all.
It’s like he becomes a living black hole. He has this power that forcibly draws the attention of those around him. That’s probably Kang Woo-ju’s greatest charm.
“So I told him. That if he wanted, I could make him the face of the department store’s billboard. Do you know what Woo-ju ssi said to me then?”
“What did he say?”
In response to Kang Han-na’s question, Kim Eun-ha paused for a moment before continuing with a rather serious expression.
“...Eun-ha, I also have my pride.”
“Wha-!?”
Kang Han-na’s mouth fell open in shock. She never imagined that Kim Eun-ha would be the one to initiate a joke.
Whether she knew Kang Han-na’s thoughts or not, Kim Eun-ha smiled lightly as she spoke.
“Ridiculous, right? And the way he said it with that silly joke was that a trophy forcibly handed to him by someone else wouldn’t make him happy.”
“...That’s so like Woo-ju oppa.”
“Right. Honestly, back then I thought this guy was just being picky. But now I understand a little. Maybe that’s why I want to win with my own hands now.”
“.......”
Kim Eun-ha clenched the air tightly, a confident smile on her face. She was so dazzling in that moment that Kang Han-na was left speechless.
“Above all else. Objectively speaking, I’m not someone with weak specs anywhere I go, right? If I seriously try to seduce him, there’s no way he won’t fall for me.”
...From the side, it did seem like her confidence was a little over the top, but Kang Han-na didn’t have the bold personality to point it out to her face.
“What if he ends up hating you?”
“Huh?”
“Well... just hypothetically speaking. Really hypothetically. But what if Woo-ju oppa doesn’t fall for you? What will you do then?”
“That’s never going to happen.”
“What?”
“I’m going to keep seducing him until he does.”
“.......”
Kang Han-na, who had lost her words, was met with a light shrug from Kim Eun-ha.
“That man can’t run away from me anyway. Whether he likes it or not. Regardless of his own will, he's tied to me by contract. So there’s no real rush.”
“...I-I see.”
“Well, that’s half a joke. If Woo-ju ssi ends up hating me... a little no, a lot, it’d be upsetting. But there’s nothing I can do about that either.”
“Is that really okay!?”
“No matter who I am, I can’t control someone else’s heart. Of course, I can guide it to some extent, though.”
Ah-
Hearing Kim Eun-ha’s explanation, Kang Han-na couldn’t help but let out a small exclamation.
Until now, she had thought Kim Eun-ha was a perfect person. In appearance and in character, aside from a few traumas, there was nothing to change, she was the model career woman.
That’s why the change Kim Eun-ha showed right before her eyes was such a shock. Even at this moment, she was constantly evolving.
‘...I can never catch up.’
Gestures or postures, if it were just appearances, maybe. But she couldn’t copy the inside.
The moment she honestly acknowledged this, the emptiness and anxious emotions that had been sitting in Kang Han-na’s heart vanished all at once.
‘Right, I’m not unnie.’
Whenever she wore the mask of “Kim Eun-ha” people around her kept giving her compliments. And so the time she spent killing her real self and wearing that mask grew longer and longer.
-Han-na! You’ve changed lately, haven’t you?
-Yeah. Was she always this pretty?
-Looking at her, I bet she got a boyfriend?
She chatted normally with her school friends. Teachers and the sisters clapped and praised her for the change, saying how nice it was to see.
But Kang Han-na herself felt... strange. When she lay down in bed after finishing her daily routine, emptiness and doubt always came flooding in.
‘...Is this really right?’
She couldn’t tell if people liked her, or if they liked Kim Eun-ha.
The fleeting spark of self-esteem quickly plummeted. And instead, she fell into an even deeper sense of loss than before.
Trying desperately to fill the void, she put the Kim Eun-ha mask back on, repeating an endless vicious cycle.
‘...I was scared.’
She didn’t want to be hated.
Out of fear, she wore a thick mask. She read people’s thoughts and feelings without permission, and reached out her hand before they could even speak.
Desperate to prove her worth.
Desperate not to be left behind.
Just like right now.
‘Ah....’
Tremble-
Kang Han-na clenched her teeth. Her tightly balled fists, clenched so hard her skin turned pale, trembled pitifully.
With tears welling up to the corners of her eyes, her throat was so choked that even when she opened her mouth, no sound would come out.
‘...Kang Han-na. What the hell have you done right to cry like this!’
Contrary to what her heart wanted, she felt like the moment she opened her mouth, the tears would pour out.
Still-
There was something she absolutely had to say to Kim Eun-ha.
“...Unnie. I’m sorry.”
“Hm? For what?”
“For overstepping. I honestly thought I knew everything about you, Eun-ha unnie. I thought this would make you happy.”
“.......”
Kang Han-na lowered her head deeply, not wanting to show her tearful face.
Because of that, she couldn’t see what kind of expression Kim Eun-ha had right now.
But, if she were to guess.
Kim Eun-ha’s face would probably be very cold.
Given her personality, she was someone who fit more with scolding others than offering empathetic comfort.
Kang Han-na tightly shut her eyes and trembled, bracing herself for the scolding that would fall on her any moment now. But no matter how long she waited, everything remained quiet.
“Hmmm. I wonder if Woo-ju ssi felt the same way back then?”
“......?”
As Kang Han-na squinted at the incomprehensible murmur, a dark shadow loomed over her head.
“Hiccup-!”
Was she going to slap her?
Or grab her by the hair?
Surely she wasn’t going to die here, right?
As all sorts of negative thoughts filled her head.
Smack-!
A fairly sharp pain struck her forehead.
Kang Han-na reflexively rubbed her forehead and looked up. Then, she saw Kim Eun-ha with a playful smile at the corner of her lips.
“...Unnie?”
“That settles it.”
“What?”
“I’ll let it slide just this once. Since you were honest about it. But if you get on my nerves again next time, you’ll be joining your seniors, got it?”
Chill-
Kang Han-na trembled all over. She didn’t know exactly who the “seniors” Kim Eun-ha mentioned were, but she had a rough idea.
Thanks to that, her tears instantly vanished, and for that, Kang Han-na was truly grateful.
***
-Go in first. I’m going to stop by the break room for a bit.
-Okay! I’ll explain to the others separately!
After the conversation with Kang Han-na ended, Kim Eun-ha sent her off to the practice room first and headed to the break room alone.
Sinking fully into a chair, she stared blankly at the ceiling, lost in thought.
‘...I’ve gone soft too.’
Tick. Tick.
Kim Eun-ha flicked her fingers into the air as she went over what had just happened.
She recalled Kang Han-na suddenly tearing up in the middle of their talk and apologizing to her.
Since she normally didn’t enjoy this kind of atmosphere, she would’ve definitely been annoyed or let out a sigh in the past.
‘Strangely enough, I didn’t feel like that at all.’
Hmm-
Kim Eun-ha calmly analyzed the reason, and with her brilliant mind, she quickly narrowed it down to several possibilities.
The first reason was.
Because the other person was “Kang Han-na.”
‘She already knows everything I’m thinking.’
There’s little point in hiding her true thoughts from someone like Kang Han-na, who mimics her like a doppelgänger.
Besides, Kim Eun-ha had barely had anyone in her life she could truly open up to.
That’s why when she talked with Kang Han-na, she tended to let her guard down more than she would with others. Almost like a confession.
‘I need to be careful about this.’
There’s a reason people say, “Words without feet still travel a thousand miles”. You never know when something you say might turn into a knife around your neck, so you must always be cautious.
‘But honestly, the bigger problem is....’
She couldn’t even be sure if this was something that should be called a problem. Because it had to do with none other than “Kang Woo-ju.”
-Then how about settling it with a flick to the forehead?
While practicing the ballroom scene, when she stepped on Kang Woo-ju’s feet multiple times. Out of guilt and embarrassment, she lowered her head, and Kang Woo-ju had made that playful suggestion.
It brought her far more comfort than any half-hearted words of consolation or encouragement. Remembering that side of him made it impossible to be harsh with Kang Han-na.
‘It’s an unnecessary emotion.’
The successor competition in Mirae Group is all about thoroughly trampling the weak and using them as stepping stones.
Emotions like sympathy or empathy are completely useless. She understood that logically.
-Thank you. Unnie! Really, thank you!
She recalled Kang Han-na’s face as she bowed repeatedly. Her expression looked so relieved, like someone who had just set down a heavy burden.
It wasn’t something copied from someone else,
Nor was it a forced, fake expression.
It was a genuine smile from Kang Han-na herself.
Thinking about it quietly, a swirl of complex emotions, hard to put into words, began to well up inside her.
Honestly.
It wasn’t a bad feeling at all.
“...Let’s put this on hold for now.”
It’s not like she was a machine.
She couldn’t just delete her thoughts or emotions at will, so Kim Eun-ha decided to hold off on making any judgment until she came up with a reasonable alternative.
“Sigh.”
As she emptied out one set of thoughts, countless stray ideas surged in like a tidal wave to fill the void.
Among them, the largest by far was the incident Kang Han-na had just mentioned, the day Kim Eun-ha first met Kang Woo-ju.
‘...Has it already been a year?’
Hmm-
Reflecting on that time, Kim Eun-ha sank even deeper into the chair.
*****
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