Chapter 351
For a moment, I blankly blinked.
‘What is he talking about?’
My thoughts stalled for a second at a start that was so wildly different from what I’d expected.
‘When the whole team is... in danger... I don’t have to consider him?’
When had I ever considered him?
I hadn’t. Not once. So when had he felt like I was?
I blinked a couple more times as I looked at Kwon Taehyuk, and only then did I barely recall what had happened earlier.
“Ah.”
Was it because I’d decided we shouldn’t kill the Spiderweb members?
I answered, a little reluctant.
“I wasn’t considering you, Guildmaster.”
“You can be honest with me.”
Maybe he thought I was pretending it wasn’t to avoid burdening him. Kwon Taehyuk continued with a serious expression.
“Of course, I support your judgment. But at the same time, I know very well how... idealistic I am. And I know that I keep those ideals by placing a burden on the people around me.”
I was about to clear up the misunderstanding, but I shut my mouth at Kwon Taehyuk’s even voice.
“That’s why I also know how dangerous that decision was. If someone on the team gets hurt while trying to keep that decision—or in the worst case, if someone dies—then the guilt and the weight of it all falls entirely on the leader who made the call.”
“...”
“I don’t want you to carry that kind of burden. Your shoulders are heavy enough already.”
After leaving a small pause, Kwon Taehyuk let out a short breath and studied me.
“If I misunderstood and said something unnecessary, I apologize. But when you made that decision... our eyes met several times, so I thought you chose that because of me. Even if you had other reasons, I felt like I probably had some share in it.”
I almost blurted out a rebuttal, then hurriedly swallowed it back down.
Because it wouldn’t have been sincere. It would’ve been the childish impulse of someone just trying to hide what he was feeling.
Not knowing what to say, I moved my lips for a long time without a sound—until I finally let out a short laugh.
“Haa...”
The laugh quickly ended in an empty breath.
I rubbed my forehead, then lifted my head with a bitter smile and looked at Kwon Taehyuk.
“...You’re sharp, Guildmaster. A lot sharper than I realized.”
I never thought I’d hear something like this from Kwon Taehyuk.
I crossed my arms again and leaned against the living room wall at an angle.
“I don’t know if it counts as consideration, but yeah—I did make the decision while taking into account what you would’ve chosen. And I also didn’t want to ruin that ‘idealistic thinking’ of yours, in my own way.”
In my previous life, Kwon Taehyuk had practically been the representative of the Hunters who fought the Catastrophe to the very end.
Even as everything collapsed, even as countless Hunters died and guilds were falling apart—
Kwon Taehyuk had consistently tried to save civilians and Hunters alike, and even in the final battle, he stood at the front and charged the Catastrophe without hesitation.
I’d watched that reckless sight from behind.
Even back then, when Ryu Sunghyun and the Circle Guild were my entire world, I still couldn’t ignore that side of Kwon Taehyuk.
So in this life too, I wanted to help him keep that nature.
Maybe it was just my own stubbornness. Or maybe it was my frantic struggle to leave proof that the present was better than the previous life.
Stop the cult freaks’ activities, manage the Catastrophe, and keep the world’s leads alive.
‘Right now, this is already way better than last time, which led to ruin.’
This is the time I’ve protected. Everything is better than before—so shouldn’t it be entirely possible to keep Kwon Taehyuk’s nature intact too?
That was why it was even more bewildering and surprising to hear him say that.
“Um, don’t people usually like it when someone says they’ll protect them? And I didn’t make that decision only because of you, Guildmaster. Even if someone got hurt, I could heal them, and my little brother is strong, so there wouldn’t have been a dangerous situation. And if things really got bad, we could just slip out through the shadows.”
“Yes.”
Kwon Taehyuk nodded without protest.
“I know you didn’t decide to spare the members blindly without thinking, and then just charge straight for the head. But it’s also true that you deliberately took the dangerous route.”
Kwon Taehyuk hesitated, then spoke in a voice that had softened.
“I’m not blaming you, saying it was a wrong judgment. Of course I was happy. I was glad. And it’s also true that in the moment you made that call, my discomfort eased a lot at the thought that we didn’t have to kill the members.”
Kwon Taehyuk walked forward carefully, closing the distance between us.
Up close, his black eyes were tangled with a mess of emotions.
“To be even more honest... for a moment, I even had the foolish illusion that you made that judgment because you cared about me—because you wanted to respect my feelings. I know in my head that it wasn’t that kind of situation, but my heart still raced. And if next time you make the same decision, I’ll have the same stupid illusion again, and my heart will race again.”
Like he was telling a secret, Kwon Taehyuk’s voice grew smaller and smaller, sinking into a whisper.
Facing him, standing right in front of me, I couldn’t answer at all. I just blinked.
“...”
Dryly, I swallowed without meaning to.
I could feel on my skin that the atmosphere was different from just moments ago.
This wasn’t like exchanging opinions based on judgment.
I couldn’t pretend not to notice the air that had turned more intimate, more hidden.
‘I need to avoid it.’
With the wall behind me, I should step sideways... or push Kwon Taehyuk away.
Then this mood would end. If I showed even a hint of reluctance, Kwon Taehyuk wouldn’t force it—he would back off on his own.
But... why...
‘My body...’
It didn’t move.
I just stared, dazed, at Kwon Taehyuk’s face so close to mine.
“I hesitated for a long time before saying this too. Because I was afraid that from next time on, you’d stop caring about me. That you’d make cold decisions without considering how I feel.”
Warm body heat brushed lightly against my cheek.
As if tickling me, Kwon Taehyuk’s fingertips gently stroked my cheek.
“I know in my head that would be better—because it would make you safer. But even so... I hesitated, and I thought I was ridiculous. Like an immature child.”
“...”
“I’m sorry. For being greedy like this.”
That apology stabbed straight into my chest.
My body had been stiff the whole time, refusing to move—but the instant I heard those words, strength flowed into my hand on its own.
I clenched my fist hard and finally forced my voice out.
“When did I ever tell you not to be greedy?”
I didn’t even know what I was saying right now. Everything in my head was frozen, but my mouth was moving on its own.
“I want to protect you, and I’m respecting you however I want. So why are you the one feeling indebted over it?”
Yeah. This kind of thing didn’t suit me.
What was the point of twisting my brain up over where my relationship with this man would go?
We had to keep moving together anyway. He was one of the leads, he was helping me, and he...
“Let’s just do what we want.”
My hand reached out toward Kwon Taehyuk.
The hand that had been stiff and unmoving just a moment ago moved far too easily now.
I grabbed Kwon Taehyuk’s tie roughly and yanked him in hard.
His face came even closer. Maybe he was startled—his eyes widened slightly. Seeing those black eyes waver, I felt a laugh rise up for no reason.
‘Whatever. Fuck it.’
If I needed to give buffs, didn’t that mean I’d have to kiss him again and again anyway?
‘Call it practice or something. Whatever.’
The corner of my mouth tugged up on its own.
“Even this—I’m doing it because I want to, so you don’t need to feel indebted.”
I declared it, then lifted my head before Kwon Taehyuk could react. I pressed my lips deeply to his.
“......!”
Kwon Taehyuk’s body, which had been staring at me blankly, flinched.
This time, Kwon Taehyuk froze the way I had. I didn’t care—I pushed my tongue into the parted lips without hesitation.
“Hng....”
When I softly swept his palate with my tongue, Kwon Taehyuk hurriedly braced a hand against the wall behind me and squeezed his eyes shut.
A small moan slipped out between our locked lips.
A kiss with a man.
Not a kiss for a buff—this was a kiss I chose with my own will.
And it wasn’t as bad as I’d expected. No—my body heated up, and a pleasant sensation flooded in.
Kwon Taehyuk’s cheeks and ears gradually flushed red. At the same time, the stiffness in him broke—he started panting roughly, then began responding to the kiss more actively.
A wet sound echoed in my ears. Our hot tongues tangled and rubbed together. When I nipped his lower lip lightly like I was teasing him, Kwon Taehyuk’s breathing grew even rougher.
Before I knew it, both his arms had left the wall and wrapped around my waist, pulling me even closer.