Reborn From the Cosmos

Khan never lacked for things that reminded him he was far from home.

Sometimes, it was the physical things, the plush decorations that no self-respecting northerner would waste their limited wealth on and or the lavish food that felt indulgent to a tongue raised on a lifetime of food developed under an attitude of efficiency. Sometimes, it was the difference in habit, like the way he didn’t need to tuck his blanket tightly around himself to ward off a nightly chill.

But the worst things were the reminders he couldn’t touch, the things that unsettled his mind before he recognized them, torturing him in his deepest thoughts and polluting the refuge his dreams should offer.

Khan laid awake on his cramped bed, lamenting the silence. He never realized how used he was to the sound of the northern winds; spring was the season of storms and every night, the wind howled. Sheltered by thick walls, the sound was almost pleasant, Mother Nature singing her children a song to lull them to sleep.

There was no sound here. Not so much as a creak of loose floorboards or rowdy insects. The peace bred chaos in his mind. Normally, he would be annoyed, knowing his discomfort would lead to a long morning weighed down by exhaustion. This night, he was grateful for his inability to sleep. It was a part of his plans.

There was nothing left for him, anywhere. With his dreams gutted and his heart bruised, he would have to start anew, without even his name. It was a terrible fate, one he wouldn’t wish on a dog let alone a man, but he accepted it. What he couldn’t accept was starting his new life beholden to Lourianne Tome.

He didn’t hate the noblewoman, not yet, but he felt he could come to. Khan despised her nonchalant power. It felt like the troubles of the world didn’t dare touch her. A ridiculous notion; no one was impervious to fate. Yet, she was certainly above mundane struggles.

When others worried whether they would have enough to feed their families, she worried if having the same dessert two nights in a row would be boring. Her training was not a matter of whether she could become strong, it was how fast she wanted to gain even more power. Never had the world crafted a creature easier to hate. If all the dreams of the unfortunate people in the world were rivers and streams, the sea in which they inevitably emptied, unfulfilled, would be the envy Lou inspired.

Her help was as substantial as the wind; people prayed for it when they needed it, but they could never hold onto it for long and it thought nothing of the people it pushed along. Khan, a man who had grown to rely on ice and steel, would be a fool to put his future in her hands. He didn’t know what he would make of his second life, but he did know it would be far from the noblewoman, his insane sister, and his cold love.

Little Water’s enthusiasm had been an unexpected blow to his bruised heart. His memories, gutted though they were, couldn’t recall a single time the estrazi had pursued him with such determination. Their affair had been as cold as the winter that brought them together; his life had been spared by her curiosity and their relationship sustained by calculation.

He didn’t know what made him think it could blossom into affection; she gave him no encouragement, merely accepted his pursuit as the price of their cooperation. The vastness of the north had either made him desperate or romantic to pursue something that didn’t exist. Khan was simply loathed to give up the first thing of interest in his dreary existence; even now, a part of him still longed for her, the creature that was a living idea of the beauty contained in flawless ice.

The north rarely made things of beauty. Such was why the other men were obsessed with his sister Yulianna, whose blush gave them visions of a spring without gloomy storm clouds. Little Water affected his mind the same way when her scales sparkled in the sun.

Perhaps that was truly why he had his memories shattered; without those visions to sustain it, his crush couldn’t survive her indifference. He wondered if anything but disappointment would.

That was a problem for future Khan. The him of the present had one concern: escape.

When the shadows of his room were their darkest, he rose from his bed and prowled toward the door. The knob turned silently, the shadows of the two spaces combining. There was nothing to see by; he didn’t dare risk bringing a candle. It didn’t matter. His feet were as good as eyes, easily carrying him through the estate.

Khan moved with the utmost caution; normally, there would be no reason to suspect anyone being alert at the hour, but Lou kept unusual company. He had asked the creatures sent to care for him about themselves, curious about his captors. One of the many disturbing things about succubi was that they didn’t need to sleep, at least not every night. He’d wager the information was shared to discourage him from exactly what he was doing. They underestimated his tolerance for danger and long odds. Khan may not be a warrior, but he risked his life walking through monster hordes while they slept. Danger wasn’t something that gave him pause.

His caution proved necessary; as he passed near the kitchens, he saw scant light and the delicious smell of fresh bread entered his nose. Someone, or more likely something, was cooking, preparing for another extravagant meal. A part of him lamented his future of eating wild herbs and nuts. It was almost enough to change his mind, but he was a James; suffering was in their blood.

He crept past, heart pounding in his ears as he waited for a hand to emerge from the shadows and grab him by the collar like a disobedient boy. Nothing happened. Khan made his way to the back entrance of the estate without issue and the door opened without complication.

Every step across the manicured grass heightened his caution, the nearness of his goal filling him with so much emotion his fingers trembled. He was relieved when he spotted the man digging in the soil; he could stop anticipating problems. Khan crouched, searching for a solution. Yet the problem was not so dire.

The man was completely absorbed in his work. When he didn’t so much as raise his head for several minutes, Khan cautiously got to his feet. When the man dropped to his knees to put a large potted plant in the ground, Khan decided to take his chances. The man, or gardener most likely, didn’t so much as twitch as Khan walked by in his periphery.

There was more grass to traverse, long swaths of it. And then suddenly, freedom. His feet touched the road at the end of the estate and he took off with all the speed he could muster. Given he was fleeing for his future, it was one of the fastest sprints he’d ever managed. He had far more stamina than strength so the burn in his calves didn’t bother him for half an hour. Only then did he slow and take stock of his surroundings.

Part of Lou’s designs for the city included signs attached to tall posts at the corner of every street. Khan had chosen to run on a night with plenty of moonlight to guide him, but it meant little when he had no idea what the names meant. Still, he suspected a wider road meant more traffic, and there was no place with more traffic than gates.

Reasoning that served him well. He soon found himself at a gate. Unfortunately, it was closed. He was considering his chances of scaling the stone when a voice called out to him.

“The moon leads lunatics, eh?”

Khan spun, eyes glowing as he called on his magic. A figure separated from the shadows of the gate, revealing a dark-skinned man dressed in a green uniform. The black tattoo around his neck identified him as a member of the mysterious Temple lured into serving the city guards.

An enemy.

Except, there was nothing aggressive in the man’s stance. He watched Khan with an unnerving patience that demanded the northerner be the first to break it.

“I didn’t know the gates closed.”

“That which is barred may not be closed.”

“…what?”

The guard chuckled. “You can pass but after dark, it’s our policy to check comings and goings. Make sure no one’s getting up to any trouble.”

“I don’t intend to make trouble.”

“No? Anyone sneaking from the lady’s estate at night is definitely trouble.”

Khan stiffened, preparing a spell.

“But she’d stop you if she wanted you stopped. I’m not going to be the one to stop her pack from wandering.”

As the guard pulled a key ring from his waist and turned to open a much more discreet door next to the larger gate, Khan decided Lou’s ridiculous power and the reputation that accompanied it were not always bad things. The guard was meant to keep order but there was no controlling a woman with the means to level a city. Khan’s actions were clearly suspicious but as someone connected to her, he was simply waved through the checkpoint with some helpful advice to accompany him.

“You should know, you’re not getting through the main gate so easy. When you find you need to slow down for a bit, ask around for the Pits. That’ll keep you till morning.”