Chapter 10.2
It was hard to keep a clear mind when he was with Moon Haewon. It wasn’t like him, so he had tried to keep his distance. He had planned to entertain Haewon when he felt like it—to let him in just enough, hold him, and then pull away. But now that Haewon had responded like this, he was realizing that "just enough" had never been possible in the first place.
"Was it really such a terrible thing that it should end this easily? You know I say things without thinking."
When Moon Haewon had called him a "dog," Hyun Woojin had finally understood what it meant to be in turmoil. There had been times when he had wanted to erase someone simply because they were no longer useful. But feeling the raw, violent urge to kill someone out of pure emotion—this was the first time.
Haewon kept provoking him like this, and the fact that he reacted to it every time irritated him. Being around Haewon unsettled him in ways he couldn’t comprehend. He wasn’t used to being swayed by emotion. Because of Haewon, he had come to realize that the feelings he had always assumed he didn’t possess actually existed within him.
Woojin called his name in a low voice.
"Haewon."
"I miss you. I miss you so much I feel like I’m going to die."
Had calling his name triggered something?
Haewon clung to him, his voice heavy with tears. He was overflowing with emotion, just like when he played the violin.
He hadn’t thought much of the phrase I miss you so much I feel like I’m going to die, but now he was realizing just how much it could shake a person.
"This is uncomfortable."
Woojin meant it. Haewon kept poking at places inside him that weren’t ruled by logic, and it made him uneasy.