Chapter 122: The thread of fate
His breath hitched as he caught how dark Hael's eyes had gotten.
Every fiber of his being told him he needed to pull away, to get out of there before it was too late. His avoidant nature was running rampant, wrestling between his bodily and emotional desires.
Silence stretched between them, the energy thick with tension and unspoken words. The flickering torchlight in the room cast shadows across Hael's face, making his already handsome features seem sharper than usual. Ceremus could see the hesitation in his eyes, as if he was afraid if he moved even an inch closer, or touched him any more than he already was, Ceremus would run away.
"H-Have you ever thought that maybe your infatuation towards me might be fabricated? Like no matter what would've happened to us, no matter who I turned out to be, you would come to love me...because our fate decreed it as such?" He asked, breaking the silence between them.
Hael furrowed his brows, unsure of what Ceremus was implying with those words. The thought had never crossed him. To him, it was never a matter of fate. He knew in his heart that whether it be the Ceremus sitting next to him or another version of Ceremus he never met, he would come to love him. It didn't matter what shape he took. But as he thought this, he could understand what Ceremus feared. That his love wasn't a fabric of his own will. And this upset him.
"I've seen you and your best, and I've seen you at your worst. Even though I've witnessed your bad side, my love for you has never waned nor withered. In fact, it's only grown stronger with each passing day. I firmly believe that even if fate had nothing to do with my feelings, I would still come to love you, perhaps even more than I do now." He said.
Ceremus bowed his head, suddenly feeling overwhelmed by the devotion in Hael's eyes. "I've done a lot of bad things, Hael. I've hurt many people. I've been selfish, putting my own needs on everyone else. I've used my position of power to get what I wanted," he whispered. I don't deserve someone like you.
Hael's heart sank, and he suddenly felt a distance between them, one Ceremus had unconsciously established. Just when he was about to retort, Ceremus uttered words that nearly took his breath away.
"...Despite all of this. I don't want you to turn your back on me. I don't want you to belong to someone else, even if you deserve someone more worthy of your kind and selfless heart. I realize how selfish this may sound, but I promise this will be the last greedy act I will commit in this life. I promise to be better. To prove to others that I am worthy of being by your side," He said through gritted teeth.