Chapter 28: The king bears his feelings
He was already ahead, and waited for Hael to catch up to him before speaking.
"To answer your question, yes some people engage in such...intimate acts with the person they love, however that's not the kind of place lovers go to. If you're looking for love, you most certainly won't find it there." He scoffed.
"Is love something you don't wish to have...Your Majesty?"
Ceremus went silent when he heard this.
Ceremus had only truly loved a single person in his life—his father. After his father died, it felt like a part of him died with him. That deep loneliness, that void that was left after his passing was never able to be filled even to this day. The notion or the concept of loving someone was a foreign feeling to the young king. Who couldn't possibly fathom the thought of loving another for he felt as though it would be a betrayal to his father. Love was a feeling he had since lost and couldn't even remember what it felt like to receive it, let alone express it.
These were his true and honest thoughts, things he himself would never admit out loud. Had it been anyone else asking him such a personal question, he would've struck them then and there, but because it was Hael speaking to him, he couldn't bring himself to do so. He also couldn't bring himself to lie, not when he was looking at him so earnestly, so expectantly.
The young man felt himself at an impasse.
"Love is all consuming. It takes more than it gives, and when it's gone you no longer know yourself. I'd rather be half full than completely empty..." He whispered.
They continued the rest of the walk in silence, and though Hael longed to hear him speak, to share more about his feelings, he knew it wouldn't be right to pry any further than he already had. So he left it at that.