Chapter 94: New Decision
Jason
The more I dwelled on all that Kenny said to me in a fit of rage, the more I kept seeing faults in my entire approach. The more I kept seeing that indeed, I had been doing it completely wrong this whole time, and that filled me with regret because perhaps if I had done this a different way, perhaps I still won’t be without my wolf, drowning in pain and loneliness.
I helped my grandmother into a seat in the large music room here in this mansion. In all honesty, the house was even too big for my own taste. Even back at home, my house away from the palace was way smaller compared to hers and it was because the large space was void of what I actually wanted, so it only made me feel bleak and empty.
My grandmother reached for my hands and squeezed around my fingers and I crouched before her, feeling a small twig of pain within me as I stared at her and got hit in the chest with an image of my mother’s pretty face. This was something I never thought I could handle, but at least I was here right now and wasn’t running down the other way, although it still hurt so much whenever I let myself think about the loss which I was still yet to move on. People always say as the years go by, you’d slowly be able to hand me your grief, and perhaps they were right because at least I wasn’t losing my mind now that I was staring at my grandma and being reminded of what I’d never get to experience again... but it still hurt so fucking much.
My grandma sighed softly and it was clear that she had missed me way more than I actually thought. That made me feel so guilty till this very moment. After arriving and meeting her in a coma, I realized that even though I was grieving, it was still stupid to completely push her away and refuse to visit her. After almost losing her, I was determined to right all of my wrongs this time.
"My sweet Jason." She sighed softly as she cupped my cheek and stroked gently and I resisted the urge to snort. If only she knew that her once adorable grandson was the furthest thing from being sweet. I was the complete opposite of sweet, but of course she didn’t need to know that.
I rose to my feet and was contemplating leaving this room which was becoming suffocating to remain in because of the memories it holds, when she stopped me with a hold on my wrist.
"Will you play for me?" She asked softly and almost immediately, a wave of pain hit me at once and I had to breathe out of my nose to prevent myself from doubling over in pain.
This is the exact room my mother used to play the piano in, along with some other instruments,,. But the panio had been my favorite and it was the one she thought me how go play, right in this room. The panio was at the corner of the room, sparking brightly. It was clear that this room gets cleaned up daily because the entire room was fully aired out.