Chapter 131: Truths are hard to swallow
"Let me be clear, I don’t agree with these terrorists in the slightest, but I can understand their fear. No one wants to feel out of control of their life. Some people are very protective of their control and freedom.
With that being said, in the 40 years that the Guiding Act has been put into place, Guides have begun a tentative agreement with the Espers who used to chain them up and force imprint on them. If the Espers do not try to kidnap and control the Guides, assault or kill them, the Guides will, willingly, with open arms, protect, heal and defend the Espers. It is a deal that was reached to not only protect the Guides, but the people they care about as well. For me, as a Guide, I think this deal is fair, since I have many people I want to protect, including myself." Kellen glanced around the room.
"Now, given this history, what do you think would happen if you found out that there was a group of Guides who intentionally caused others to surge because of bigotry and self-absorption? What would cross your mind, as a Guide or an Esper, if you found out that was happening? What would you feel?" Silence around the room, and Kellen licked his lips to wet them.
"For some, it might be betrayal, others, fear. For me? I was filled with rage." Kellen clenched his hand under the table. "I have worked a very, very long time as someone who has tried their best at their job for the benefit of others. I have always tried my best to make sure gates get closed, everyone comes home safe and sound to their families, and the front lines aren’t a total shit show. It guts me every time someone doesn’t make it home.
To you, who don’t go to the front lines, you might not be able to sympathize with what I am saying, but I am sure we all know what it feels like to lose someone to something beyond our control. That is surging to Espers. They lose all sense of reason, and personhood when they surge. They lash out at the people they care most about, and sometimes, even kill them. I have been a Guide for almost 13 years now, and I have had to keep many, many people from surging by the skin of my teeth. I have almost died trying to keep others alive.
As a Guide, I literally eat away at my body to keep others safe and breathing. I have done that on the front line for seven years. When I was in training I was brought in to assist with an Esper who was surging, so I could understand the depth of pain and horror they experienced in that moment. Any Guide who has ever had to deal with an Esper who is mid surge knows how awful it is for the Esper, and how awful it is for the Guide. That is why we do our best as a group to avoid it." Kellen let out a shaky breath, still furious. Kellen was shaking, he was so angry.
"So, when I arrived at the training room to find several Guides of B Class or lower, trying to ’help’ 6 Espers who were so close to the edge of surging I, who can’t feel powers in the air like some Guides, could tell something horrible was about to happen. There was no wonder why I reacted so aggressively."
"You broke someone’s arm by stepping on it, and you also threw around someone who was supposed to be one of your students." Kellen chuckled, and looked in the direction of the voice that spoke.
"You’re right, and I would do it again in a heartbeat. You are right to assume I have no remorse for what I’ve done, but you also need to understand the depth of their crime. Of the Guides who were present, and had been brought to help, only five were actually guiding. The others weren’t doing anything. Only a Guide of A Class or higher can tell, and thankfully, at the time we had three A Class Guides on hand, including myself. Thankfully, as soon as my coworker and I heard the situation, all three of us worked to save those Espers, and separated the Guides who were doing their job from the ones who weren’t." Kellen shifted in his seat.